Author: Eve Posen

Quick Pre-Shabbat Update- 2 this week!

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A few quick things on my mind before Shabbat… my first shabbat of pure rest in 10 weeks!
1. OUTDOOR/INDOOR EATERIES: one of the best parts about Israel is that most places have a place to eat outdoors and indoors. One might think that the outdoor part must be closed for the winter, but think again my fine friends. Most of my favorite places to eat, (the waffle bar and my corner bar) have most of their seating outdoors, so I wondered what they would do in the winter. Turns out, they put of walls, and a roof, and Voila, they have an indoor eatery… AMAZING!
2. SHABBAT OF REST: I am spending this Shabbat just with myself and reflecting on the past few weeks. I am really looking forward to the reflection time, and the scrumcious lunch I have planned for tomorrow! Everyone needs some rest sometimes!
3. Oh no, I can’t remember: There was something else i wanted to comment on, but now it has escaped my mind. I am sure once i light my candles, I will remember! Such is mylife! On the plus side, I did have a hot shower today! YAY!! Here’s to hopeing the heat is on for more than just 3 hours for Shabbat!!
Shabbat Shalom, may it be a blessing upon you!!

Looking at you through the glass…

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All i know is that it feels like forever, No one ever told you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head! ~Stone Sour

This week has been one of self-reflection and refletion on Israeli society. I have so many mixed reactions, emotions, throughts going through my head. So much to think about, so much I am trying to figure out. I am having one of those weeks where I feel the growing pains of growing up, and it’s a bit hard. I am growing, I have been growing and I will continue to grow, but this week, it hurt. I am not sure why, but it did. I did a lot of thinking, about where I am in my life, where I want to be, who I am and who I want to be. And I am no closer to having the answers than I was last week, but the thoughts are in my head, floating around, tapping me on the shoulder and then running away. I cannot capture what is poking me, but whatever it is has definitely made me think, a lot. It is one of those weeks where I want to cry and have someone hold me, but at the same time, ther eare no tears running down my cheeks. The tears are invisible, hidden, or maybe they are stuck, behind my eyes, behind the strength I am projecting to others. When they come, I will know.

This past week I did some reflecting on Music. The beats, the sounds, the movements, they are universal. Music can move people, can make someone smile, or it can make someone cry. It can make my heart skip a beat, from excitement or frustration. Sometimes, there is just that one perfect song that completley fits your mood, expresses what you cannot put into words. Sometimes music is a comfort, it makes me feel at home, and sometimes it makes me miss home. But, nevertheless, music is universal. This week Israeli and American students sang together, danced together celebrating the memory of Reb Shlomo Carlebach. We danced, sang, reflected, all to the same notes of the guitar, the same intention. I just liked how we were all able to connect, rejoice, remember and be together.

I have also been thinking a lot about Israel lately. What a complicated State I am living in. Each day brings with it a new adventure, new challenges, to being myself, to my identity as a Jew, to who I am, to what I am doing. And I still love it.

I’m all over the place tonight, that’s what happens when I have time to think, time to share my thoughts, time to try and figure out who I am, what I’m doing and where I am going. Today was a great day, I got some work done, had a yummy steak dinner with a new friend, met with my teacher… yet I feel unfulfilled, I feel alone, I feel disappointed and I don’t know why. I guess after weeks of constant hustle and bustle, this is o.k… but it is an icky feeling. I’m trying to embrace it, trying to let it go, enjoy the moment, but something is holding me back, holding me in this place, this refletion, this growing pain. I hope that it passes quickly, that the growth continues with smiles, and hugs…

Maybe, I just need a hug! A smile can make my day, but a hug can leave me speechless… HUG ME!

Oh what a week…

Eve Posen1 Comment
Wow, school is in full gear, homework is plentiful, extracurriculars are fun! I write this as I enter crunch time before Shabbat. I have an hour an a half before I need to light my candles and leave so that I will make it to shul in time for services and a fantastic dinner with friends. Let me just say one more time for the record how lucky I am to have made the friends I have made here in Israel, and in general. Whenever I am sad, they make me laugh, when I am stressed out, they make me chill out, and when I’m hungry, they make me find time to eat. I love my friends. They make me smile in the morning when I wake up to their messages, smile when I look at pictures of us, and feel loved when I feel lonely. I could go on!!

School is going well, I am finally finding ways to take notes in English with a Hebrew lecture, and eventually I think I will switch to Hebrew. I am slowly figuring out how to manage my time with my 10 classes and other learning obligations. My days are packed, and intellectualyl stimulating! I am learning so much already and it is only the second week. I have found classes I like, that are small, have wonderful teachers, and a good subject matter. I am on the student leadership committee in charge of planning our trips, ice breakers and other events as well as representing my classmates from Ziegler in various meetings. I am also working on other ways to connect to the land and the Masorti movement. I am happy, I am safe, and I am alive!! Below are some random things that I have been doing/had on my mind:
1. Swiffer wet Jet: I am wondering why Swiffer hasn’t made their way to Israel yet. You see, carpeting is not really common in Israel, so the floors are in need of constant mopping or, the common squeegy in Israel. You pour water on the flour, then with a squeegy and a cloth, mop the floors. This is quite a hastle, and not so much fun. Swiffer would be so much easier… One of these days!
2. Last shabbat was Parshat Noach, the flood among other things. So, as we’re reading about the rain, the waters, the skies actually opened up and we had very heavy and cold rains for a few days. How amazing, that the weather actualyl matches the seasons in the Torah. It is quite incredible to be praying for rain, literally, just beginning to say the prayer for the rainy season, and as if on command, Rains pour forth from the heavens. It was an incredible experience ot have, rain in Jerusalem, feeling the intense connection between the seasons, the prayer cycle and the torah cycle. The only time this was not fun was last Sunday when it conveniently began to pour when we needed to walk to school in the morning. My lucky rainboots kept my feet warm and try, but the rest of me, and my books was soaked. It was quite uncomfortable to be sitting in services, dripping wet, we all were a bit uncomfortable. lucky for me, my roommate had not yet left the house when I did, so I was able to call her half way up my mountaineous walk to school and ask her to bring me dry pants… SCORE!
3. Duchening. Duchening is when the Cohanim, the priests bless the congregation with the priestly benediction, Numbers 6:24-26. Outside of Israel, if this is done, it is mostly done on the three pilgrimage festivals. In Jerusalem, it is done every day if there is a Cohen in the house. Lucky for me, there is almost always a cohen around to give the blessing. I have to admit, I am a little bit uncomfortable with the ritual. I enjoy receiving the blessing, however, the rituals that surround it come from temple time,s and it is a bit out of place in the rest of our service. I guess I’ll either become more comfortable with it as the year goes on, or just learn to let it go. This past week, I lead Shacharit at school on my Grammy’s yahrtzeit, and the Cohen was in the house, so I had to do the priestly blessing. As I called out the words, and he repeated them to us as the congregation, i felt a moment of peace, of tranquility. I guess it’s not so bad. And sometiems, I close my eyes and image my parent’s hands on my head on friday nights at home, blessing me, and returning the blessing to them. Or, I hear my CPE colleagues from this summer, and feel the love, warmth and support that they have given me, and I miss them.
4. Laughing: I have noticed that my Ziegler classmates and I seem to do a lot of laughing in school and out of school. We make jokes, we find things to laugh about, and make sure to have at least one good strong laugh a day I think this is part of what keeps us so happy, so alive, so sane as we make our way through the week. Laughing is good, make me laugh!
5. Boogie: Last night i went to Boogie, a sort of club that meets every other thursday in the gym of a youth center on Emek Refaim. For 45 NIS, there is unlimited dancing until all hours of the night, with music from around the world, and people from around the world. It was so great to get my boogie on, have fun, meet new people, get to know my new JTS classmates, and enjoy the variety and beauty of the world. I highly recommend it to anyone in Jerusalem when it happens. It’s a great way to burn energy, burn calories and have an incredible time!
6. Integration: recently, i realized how so many pieces of my life have become entertwined recently. The puzzle pieces don’t just lock in next to one another, but they also lock in with each and every one. They are very versitile. People from many different stages of my life have recently re-entered, and each time, it helps me realize how much i have grown, how much I have done, and how wonderful life is. My journey to rabbinical school was a winding one, fileld with many twists and turns, and until the other day when I was learning with TaShma (i’ll tell you that in a minute), i hadn’t thought about how it might have changed since i’ve been in Rab school, but alas, i think it has. The core element of my family is the same, and the basic steps are there, but I think i just reflect on it all differently now.
7. TaShma: I am involved in an interdenominational Jewish learning community through TaShma and project STAR (Synagogue transformation and renewal). We just began the program, but the 20 or so of us from all denominations of Judaism have come together, told our stories and learned. I think this will be an incredible opportunity for me, and I am very much looking forward to the 10 remaining sessions throughout the year!

And that wraps it up. May this Shabbat be good to you, and you good to it. May you find your place in this crazy world we live in, and find yourself. May we all be blessed with God’s embrace, and may God spread over us, his/her shelter of peace!

Changes, Oddities, Random

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Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t really like change. I like things the way they are usually, and sometimes have a problem working through big changes in life. Over the past year, I have gotten much better with this, I have learned to embrace change, look forward to it, make the best of it. I mean, change is all around us, especially in Jerusalem. Just two weeks ago, it was hot, humid, and i was complainign about how warm I was, and then, within an instand the weather changed, it’s gloomy, rainy, windy and cold. CHange. I went from living alone to having a roommate, Change. I went from havign fun, enjoying myself, having free time, to being in school for 12 hrs. a day, in HEbrew. Change. I went from Michigan to Israel, Change. I went from English to Hebrew, Change. I went from a place i knew to an unknown place, Change. And, the more I’m realizing it, this is what life is all about. Life is about changes, it’s about going with the flow, the natural changes that happen and embracing change. Just as I can’t fight the change in the weather, so too, I cant’ fight the changes that happen in the grand scheme of things in my life. I am coping well with all the changes, growing, and smiling, so I guess that’s a good thing… although I do miss the comforts of home, of a steady, dependable life, but i guess that wouldnt’ be fun!
Oddities: Israel is full of things I find odd, random for amusing. For instance, you can buy beer almost anywhere, in a coffee shop, at a falafel stand, single bottles at the little macolet, absolutely everywhere. And people here drink it just about everywhere too. Also, i find it odd to see really orthodox men walking around in their full on garb with little white wires and headphones standing out like a sore thumb from them. The IPOD is a must have accessory here along with crocs of any color that don’t match your outfit. I find it strange that people have all of the sudden begun wearing winter scarves, hats and coats and it’s still ike 65 degress outside… i undesrtand it’s colder but still. And there are more, but shabbat is nearly upon us, so I must go and get ready… more to come later! LOTS OF LOVE TO ALL and SHABBAT SHALOM! Comment so I know you’re reading!! Be well, stay warm, go blue, and I hope the tigers can get it together!
UPDATE: I WAS ADDED/POSTED ABOUT IN AN ISRAELI BLOG… CHECK IT OUT!!

We’re not in Kansas Anymore, Toto!

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Shalom, Shmi Eve, v’ani rak yoda’at l’daber b’ivrit biglal she yesh li shteim esrei shaot shel shiurim b’yom b’ivrit. Hi, My name is Eve and I only know how to speak in Hebrew because I have 12 hours of classes a day in Hebrew. This past Sunday, I began my full time studies at Machon Schechter. What a week it has been. While I knew my classes would be in Hebrew, and I am fairly confident in my Hebrew abilities, I do not think I was prepared for the 12 hour day of classes that awaited me. I must thank my Hebrew teachers throughout my life, and my parents for insisting that I learn Hebrew, as I am not completly lost in class when the teacher speaks Hebrew. By the middle of the first day, however, i was completly overwhelmed and perhaps in shock at the brain power it takes to actually pay attention for a complete 2 hrs. or more in Hebrew. If i miss a word, I am lost, if i try to take notes, it’s hard to keep up, and the classes are HUGE compared to the UJ. At the UJ my biggest class is about 10 people, sometimes a few more. My classes here began at 15 people, some of whom are Israeli. Needless to say, this week is an adjustment period to say the least.
To give you an idea as to why I am so overwhelmed, I am in classes from 7:30am beginning with Minyan until 6:30 pm from Sunday-Tuesday (I have an hour break aside from lunch on Monday). Along with that, almost all of my classes are taught in Hebrew, some with prep time before, and some without. The benefit of the three day marathon is that on Wednesday i have only one class so I am done by noon and on Thursday, also only one class which I am auditing. The best part about the Israeli school day is that there is a half hour break at 10 for Aruchat Eser, the ten o’clock meal, in which everyone has a chance to eat a small snack and take care of their needs as opposed to being rushed between classes.
What classes am I taking you might ask:
Talmud: We are studying Brachot and comparing different manuscripts. This class will be my hardest as it is level 4, with 10 americans, 5 Israelis and an Israeli teacher. So far, so good, but I will need to work hard at it. The best part of the class is that the teacher keeps her pipe on the desk, and I know one of these days she will probably smoke in class… Oh, how wonderful!
Poskim: In this class we are going to learn about the different ways in which one decides law, and also hwo to look up the final decision on various legal matters. I was originally in a class that had a different subject, but the class had too many people in it for my own comfort and so I switched into a smaller class where the teacher has promised to teach me the skills i need to do this completely on my own!
Israeli Society (ENGLISH): In this class i will get a rough outline of Israeli Society, the history and culture of the state, and more. A straight-forward class!
Mikre (BIBLE): My bible class seems to be really interesting. The teacher speaks in Hebrew I can understand, and the subject matter interests me as well. We are studying shemot (Exodus) and various pieces of Moses’ life and the relationship of the exodus from Egypt to the rest of our mitzvoth and the Torah.
HEBREW: obviously an important class. The class is a nice size, the teacher seems sweet, and I am already learning a lot! Any fears I had about speaking in Hebrew are quickly vanishing.
Halacha L’Ma’aseh: This class, also in Hebrew focuses on actual laws and rulings that are done. How we should act, and live our lives. I also switched into a new section of this class after the first meeting so taht I can have a class with fewer people and receive one on one attention from the teacher. This is the first time I am learning this subject, and really would like to feel ownership at the end of the year.
Israel Seminar: (English) the purpose of this class is to discuss Israel, our current views, learn history, and the inner workings of the country and how it focuses on my life today and connections I can build. This class is nice as we are broken into three small groups with an advisor leading each group. Rabbi Shlomo Tucker, the assistant dean of Schechter’s program is my group leader, and I have found it to be most enjoyable!
Midrash: This class, also in Hebrew was a lot of fun today, and i followed the entire class and even participated. We are going to study Midrash in Beresheit Rabbah and different aspects of midrash and how it came to be, and how it is different from other forms of work with texts.
Talmud Bikkiyut: This class, also in Hebrew is a class in which we will do one amud of Talmud a week, and work on mastering texts with our own skills on a most basic level. The teacher for this class is fantastic and broke down the text in a manageable way, and an understandable way. I think I will like this class.
Volunteer Project: During the year, we are each required to do a volunteer project of about 3 hrs. per week within the Masorti Movement in Israel. I have chosen to do this by teaching in an open Beit Midrash program at Hebrew University on Wednesday nights. I get to choose the text that I will teach and it seems like it iwll be a wonderful opportunity to work with college students and improve my learning.
Women and Halacha: To add to my already long Sunday, i ahve decided to take a class on Women and their halachot at the Conservative Yeshiva on Sunday nights. While it is hard to sit for so long, it is one of my goals for the year, and I am looking forward to pushing myself.

And, that wraps it up… after i do some homework and rest my brain (read, if i dont fall asleep doing my work before 10pm), i will add my feelings and thought processes over the past few days. If not, today, then tomorrow or so!
Rest assured that I am fine, I am happy, I am learning, just overwhelmed and inredibly busy with my 10 or so classes!!