Alright, so seeing as I am on vacation again, my mind is whirling with thoughts, hopes, dreams, fantasies, etc. And I have been thinking a lot lately about beauty. I try to be mindful of all the beauty in the world, a beautiful cloud, flower, smile, soul. I try to remember to say a brachah every time I am face to face with a beautiful piece of God’s creations.
But the words, “You’re Beautiful” are rarely said to me, and when they are, they bring a smile to my face. So, make someone’s day, tell someone they are beautiful. On the inside and out! Tell someone how you feel…
Author: Eve Posen
It’s a BEAUTIFUL DAY
Well, I did it! I finished my first semester here at Schechter last Tuesday and have since been catching up on my sleep, reading and enjoying life. It is amazing how revived I feel after a week without constant learning, grades, Hebrew, sickness, etc. I guess part of it also probably has to do with the beautiful day outside. I think they are all interconnected. I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. After pushing myself physically and mentally to the max this semester, my body clearly needed a bit of time to rest up. And now that the rain has passed, the sun is shinning brightly, the air is warm and relaxing. I feel alive. I am grateful for the sun, the warmth, the beauty of the world around me.
I learned a great deal this semester, about myself, my learning habits, what i value, and where I want to go. But I also learned that sometimes I push myself too hard, and don’t stop to take time and enjoy the beauty of life. I don’t take time to make myself smile, to remember the good that is very much there. So often this past semester, I focused on the bad because that is what was most prominent in my days, because that was just easier. Now that I have taken a step back, have seen the refreshed me, I can see where I went wrong. Here’s hoping this next semester that begins in 2 weeks will be better.
In the meantime, I am enjoying living in Israel again, like I enjoyed my time here before I began classes. I have many trips planned over the next 2 weeks including a weekend in Eilat, a day trip to Petra, and one to Cesaria perhaps. Here I am, exploring my world, finding myself, growing, learning and loving!!
HERE’S TO SMILES AND LAUGHTER! AND OF COURSE, LOTS OF LOVE!!
Putting on the landing gear
Here I am, a bit more than 15 hours before my semester is over. One exam, 6 dapim of Ketubot stand between me and my break… and I can’t decide if I am nervous, excited, scared, tired, crazy. I’m probably a little bit of all those things, which explains why I am up at midnight, writing a blog entry. All I can say about the semester that is nearly over at this point is, I DID IT! I am sure I’ll have more to reflect on, but probably after my brain has recovered from an intense 10 days of 8 finals!
What’s on my mind now more than anything is life, friendship, growing, etc. For some reason lately, I have had a deep need to re-evaluate my life, my friends, my relationships, and the more I do it, the more confused I am. Perhaps I think too much, which wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Or, perhaps I am realizing what I want out of life, out of friendships, out of my world, today. That would be interesting, considering, I’m not sure what it i I am realizing!! I’m not sure what it is, but I hope I figure it out soon, because I’m not so happy with the unstable feelings I have in my heart, head and gut.
Alright, time to finish reviewing for tonight and get some good sleep so I make sense tomorrow in my exam!
Is anyone even reading this anymore?!?!?!
What’s on my mind now more than anything is life, friendship, growing, etc. For some reason lately, I have had a deep need to re-evaluate my life, my friends, my relationships, and the more I do it, the more confused I am. Perhaps I think too much, which wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Or, perhaps I am realizing what I want out of life, out of friendships, out of my world, today. That would be interesting, considering, I’m not sure what it i I am realizing!! I’m not sure what it is, but I hope I figure it out soon, because I’m not so happy with the unstable feelings I have in my heart, head and gut.
Alright, time to finish reviewing for tonight and get some good sleep so I make sense tomorrow in my exam!
Is anyone even reading this anymore?!?!?!
Losing my Religion…. o.k., too dramatic..
O.k., So i’m not really losing my religion, not really at all. But, I am losing something precious, something special to me. Not losing forever, not even really losing, more like having to share something special to me. Yesterday, my rabbi was announced that he is leaving our shul after 13 years to become Dean of a rabbinical school. And I know how to share, but this is different for me. I have developed a special connection with my rabbi, and recently that connection has grown, he has watched me grow as I have watched him grow. I wish him the best, and know that he will be shaping the lives of so many more Rabbis which means a great future for the Jewish people, but I will miss his face when I return home, miss his warmth and support every Shabbat. I know this is only the begining of our relationship as it grows…
Where Have All the People Gone…
This morning, I woke up quite early for a wonderful Tiyul with Ta Shma, my Pluralistic learning group. We went to the foot hills between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, the Shefella. And we hiked, and hiked and hiked some more. And as i was walking, wandering, thinking, taking in the beauty around me, my head returned to a common thought. Where have all the people gone. There we were, hiking, learning, living history, and i have to wonder what it the land must have been like before, when it was lively, when people actually lived there. The ancient ruins, the places where David slew Goliath, the place of so much hitory, so much heritage. We saw and climbed in the caves of the Bar Kochba revolt, saw burial caves, saw the ancient life that was. This is learning, this is history. I climbed, used my physical energy to connect with my spirituality. This wa the learning I have been missing. Here is history, here i what i read about, here is the society that somuch is baed on. Here is where so many wonderous events happened, and there i stood. And strewn about these incredible places, these cities is modern trash. I guess you can’t have everything.
It was so perfect to leave Jerusalem on such a gorgeous day. the sun wa shining, the sky was clear, and the most pristine blue, not a cloud to be seen. My mind needed a rest, my body needed the exercies. I didn’t realize how cramped and down I was until i left the city. I was free. Jerusalem is a wonderful place, so holy, so full, so incredible, and so wonderful to leave for a little bit. I hiked, cleared my mind, thought, centered and enjoyed the company of my friends, my new friends, and my thoughts. This is what Israel is all about. In one day I wa able to experience the beauty of nature, living history, and the holy city that I love so much. Modernity meets antiquity, and everything in between. How wonderful is this adventure I am taking, how brilliant are these experiences. How blessed am I.
And I was sitting on the bus on the way home, thinking about my friends, my family, shabbat and all I need to do to be ready in time. I sat there looking out my window, taking in the flowers beginning to bloom, taking in the sights. For a moment, i could have been in America, in any one of the states i drove across this summer, and I felt at home. As we approached Jerusalem, i felt a bit of excitment. As much as I feel stuck, stressed and frustrated while I am in Jerusalem, it is so wonderful to come back. And as we approached the city, i saw the welcome sign and realized just how happy I am. How wonderful that they post the times Shabbat begins and ends at the enterance to Jerusalem. It just struck me as nice, home. And I feel at home. As frustrated as I am with certain aspects of my year here, I am happy. What an adventure! Time to finish up some things before Shabbat! Shabbat Shalom to all!!
Rabbi Eve Posen 