One of the things my classmates and I often joke about is that while rabbinical school may train us to be rabbis, we should write a book, “what to expect when you’re expecting: to become a Rabbi.” No one told me that anytime I came home, I’d be rabbi in residence for the weekend. When Mickey asked me to teach at dinner tonight, I gladly accepted and then realized I had to have something profound, interesting, stimulating and totally different from my d’var torah in services to say. So, if you didn’t like the first teaching, try this one on for size!

This week’s parshah, Tetzaveh is all about holy vestments, the holiness of the sacrifices, the priests. But, what is holy? ANSWERS/Discussion

What makes something holy?

I ask because whenever someone asks this question it seems we all say the same thing, sacred, special, separate, but none of those answers really define what is holy? What is Kadosh? In the parshah, it states that you should do something with the sacrificial meat because they are holy, but it always leaves me hanging with the question of why. I have been thinking about this on a daily basis, and I haven’t been able to come up with a word or two to describe what makes something holy for me.

As I was thinking about what to say tonight, I started reflecting on what makes our community, Adat Shalom holy for me. I can’t wait to come home and return to this great place, so there has to be a reason. I came up with 4 words or phrases that match the root letters KUF DALED and SHIN in Kadosh.

First, KUF: Kavannah and Keiruv. For me, something is Kadosh when it has kavannah, an intention, there is purpose to it, and this purpose brings it meaning. Kuf for me also stands for Keiruv, the Jewish principle of welcoming people into the community. We sang Shalom Aleichem at the beginning of dinner, welcoming in the ministering angels of the Kadosh Baruch Hu; of the holy one blessed is his name- Kadosh in welcoming. As we sit here tonight, we are a group who has chosen to come together, get to know one another, make the community of Adat Shalom a little bit smaller.

The second letter, DALED for me represents DOR V’DOR, generation to generation. Something is Kadosh because of the nostalgia, significance it carries from generation to generation. When we say the Kedushah in our Amidah, one of our central prayers, we praise God in the transference of our traditions from generation to generation. How often is a talit given to a grandchild from a grandparent? A Kiddush cup? A synagogue community. Just as the priestly garments are Kadosh because they are passed on l’dor v’dor, so to our community is Kadosh because we have existed and welcomed l’dor v’dor. I am proof of that.

Finally, the third letter, SHIN represents Shalem, the root word we have in both the word Shalem for completeness but also Shalom for peace. Something is Kadosh when it is complete. We are here, sitting together bringing an end to our week, completing the work we were meant to do and moving into a space of rest and peace. Adat Shalom is a complete community, our synagogue offers services for every moment of life, and celebrates those occasions where we feel a sense of completeness and peace.

As we eat together and welcome in Shabbat, we are performing a holy act. Each of you has chosen to join this community, Adat Shalom, this congregation of peace for all that it offers. For me, this is kadosh.

And so, I leave you with the same question I began with, some food for thought, what makes something holy for you? How is your life holy?

SHABBAT SHALOM!

Here is a D’var Torah I gave Friday night at services. Enjoy and not that actual delivery varied from the written word!

Do you ever have a day where you just can’t decide what to wear? You try on a plethora of outfits, but nothing seems to look right? Feel right?

I know I’ve had those days. In fact, when I was younger, I used to spend hours engaging in what my parents referred to as the “fashion show.” This involved me trying on a variety of outfits, trying to find the best one to wear the next day. It didn’t matter whether it was for school, for shul, for dance class or to play outside and be covered by my jacket. I had to have the perfect outfit, the perfect way to present myself to the world. My parents lovingly and valiantly put up with this routine for many years. My dad would always respond with, “You look Marvelous!”

But, it always had to do with what I was putting on my body, how I was presented physically to the world. Sometimes, I think it might have been easier if I had been given a uniform, something set to wear. If I were a Kohen, I actually wouldn’t have had to do a fashion show, but I’m not a Kohen, I’m not even a levite, I’m an Israelite, I get to choose what I wear.

In our parsha this week, Parshat Tetzaveh, the priests, and their children are spared from the nightly fashion show because the priestly uniform is described. An all in one uniform, the most popular pieces are the breast plate of decision, complete with the urim and tumim, to help you make any decision. You might know these today as the Magic 8 ball. Another favorite piece is the Ephod, this beautiful coat comes with a variety of colors, crimson, blue, green, yellow, and is adorned with the finest Lapis stone set in solid gold. But, the best selling piece yet is the pure blue robe, complete with bells.

The priestly garments distinguish them from the Israelites, from the commoners. Their clothing speaks volumes about their status, about who their family is, about their legacy. At the same time, it tells us nothing about them. The entire parshah is filled with different instructions for how to make the garments, how to act as a priest, what to do with the garments. But, it never tells us about Aaron and his sons. Instead of learning about who the priests are, what they are like on the inside, columns of the Torah are spent detailing their elaborate wardrobe.

My question is why? Why did we hear so much about the specifics of the tabernacle last week? Why is it so important that the priests have this elaborate dress? The simple answer is so that they are easily recognized, they are seen as separate, and the people know the hierarchy. But, when I thought about it more, I think these details are there as a reminder of whom we are.

Each of us is created Betzelem elohim, in the image of God. We have the Godly spark housed within our bodies. And, while the garments are purely on the outside, are purely material, they are also adorning the uniqueness of God’s creation in our bodies. What we put on our outsides, what materials we use to adorn our bodies represents how we feel about our insides. And as cliché as it sounds, it is what’s on the inside that counts.

Our parshah begins with the discussion of the Ner Tamid, the eternal flame. The rabbis describe this flame as being caused to burn continuously. This is the light that we have in every sanctuary, physically representing a recreation of the mishkan, the tabernacle. But, I would argue that each of us also has a Ner Tamid. Each of us has a flame that burns within, our passion, our soul, our gift to the world. Each of us chooses to present ourselves to the world through both our Ner Tamid and our priestly garments. The care we take to dress our physical being shows our respect for ourselves, our personality, our individuality. But the words we speak when presenting ourselves identify us as God’s creation, as individuals, allows our Ner Tamid to burn through.

As we enter into Shabbat Tetzaveh, may we be blessed to bask in the flame of the Ner Tamid. May we find the strength to not only look marvelous on the outside, but recognize the inner desires that make each of us unique and magnificent in our own way.

Tonight I attended the last of my “life-coaching’ group meetings. I embarked on this journey about three months ago. When i decided to join the group, it was out of a need to change my life, to set realistic goals, to move forward out of the rut I was living in for the previous three months. The first activity we engaged in was creating our perfect day. We listed out what would make our day perfect, what we would do, who we would be with, what we would wear, etc. We created this using the unspoken goals, wishes and dreams each of us dreams about. We then made a list of 100 goals, things we wanted ot accomplish over the few weeks we would meet together and in the not so distant future. My goals were varied and repetitive at times. Some of them, i had control over, others, could only be accomplished by chance meetings and occurrences.
Last night, i reviewed me goals list and I actually accomplished half of my short-term goals. I feel so accomplished. When i began the program, I was at a crossroads, 3 months after my dad died, I didn’t know where I was going. I was letting people tell me where i should be, what i needed, where i needed to turn for help. Each person told me to turn to someone else, some institution, therapy, groups. While these were all good ideas, they weren’t ideas that worked for me. I needed to turn to myself, look inside myself, look at the person I saw in the mirror and help myself. In doing this, I changed my life for me, I am doing what is write for me, I am grieving in my own way; moving forward with the creativity and passion that is in my heart.
In the last three months, I have looked at the person in the mirror each morning, and I find myself moving a little bit closer to making those changes that I want to see in me. I am happy, and I am me!