I’m Going Home

Below is my journal entry after I boarded the plane:
Here I sit, on the plane, a few minutes from take off and this song plays. I start to cry. I am actually leaving my home of the last 10 months. It is over.
I did so much, but there was so much more to do, and I am going home. But, I am leaving home, and here are the tears, flowing, streaming freely down my face. They are sad tears, but they are happy tears. Perhaps they are tears of pride and joy. I am leaving my new family, my friends. I know I will see them again, and soon- but for now, we say goodbye. We hung on to each other for life at times, other times we caught one another, supported each other. We clung to the last minutes of being together. Watching the season finale of “Grey’s Anatomy” in the airport with a classmate until I had to board my flight. Tears, streaming down my face, confusion, fear. I am going home, I am facing the pain and sorrow that stood in the back of my mind all year. In Israel, I was free, I was me, I didn’t have to deal with life at home if I didn’t want to. But here I am, on a plane, mere hours from returning to the life I left. Returning a different person. Returning unsure of how to deal with some of the changes that face me upon my return. Returning to leave again in 6 days.
They are tears of the unknown, what will it be like to return to America after 9 months and 6 days? How will it feel? Will I know what to do without Hebrew? Without everything I have become so used to? How will it be to be with my family?
The pilot just came on- one last Israel Experience- in the middle of our preparation for take off, the air traffic control workers went on strike! I have to smile thru the tears, how fitting!
I did it, I made it alone in Israel. I am so proud of myself. I am independent, I took care of myself, without my usual supports, without the support I thought I couldn’t live without. I am o.k. Now, I can do anything.
Here we go, cleared for take off. 9 months ago I arrived, now I leave, a new person, a better person, a more confident, independent me. No looking back, no turning back, here we go. I have an entire row to myself, this is it. And how fitting, they are showing “Pirates” which i watched so many times this year with my classmates.
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One thought on “I’m Going Home

  1. Anonymous June 29, 2007 / 10:40 am

    i am anamerican jew and i would like to know how ican obtain israeli citizenship and return to the holy land. please send me any and all information via mail that would assist me. Melissa Streeter,642 Toomed avenue, Corning,California, USA 96021 Thank You ForYour Time And Assistance.

    Like

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