Sick

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First, I should apologize for the lack of posting lately. School has really picked up with finals only 2 weeks away, and I was sick. Sick, as in I missed school for the first time since probably middle school because I was sick. So sick I ended up in the Doctors office for my first Israeli doctor experience. I’ll say nothing more than, when Im sick, I miss being in America a lot. I miss things like Gatorade, heat all day long, gloves on the dr. when they take blood, instant sick scheduling, etc. Since I never get sick, I don’t know how to ask for help. I very much appreciated all of my friends support and offers to help me out, but i didn’t know what to do, so I sat home, tryingto figure out what i needed. Next time I get sick (hopefully not for a long time) I think I’ll take some orange juice and chicken soup, don’t ask, just bring it over!
In the meantime, most of school was sick, so the teachers somewhat held back on their teaching. In my Hebrew class of about 10, only 4 people were there one day. I guess it’s “going around.” I did everyone a favor by staying home. Although, I wish my teachers would do us a favor and spread out the work a little more farily thorughout the semester so we’re not all pulling all nighters and tearing our hair out to get stuff done. One day! In the mean time, I have lots of work to do, but have no fear, Israel is still quite the experience. And when finals are over, I’ll tell you all about it!

Yehi Shalom Beheilech…

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I was walking home otnight, thinking about the world, thinking about my week, my life, and I know it iwll all be o.k. This past week has presented me with many many challenges. The biggest beign my computer’s near crash, and the smallest being the lack of sleep, with my massive amount of homework spreading it’s way slowly though my week! I was thinking about how wonderful it is to be in a place where I can go for a walk and just clear my mind. Sometimes, i walk and something happens and I’m out of my funk. sometimes it is when the perfect song comes on my ipod at the perfect time, sometimes it is when i run into a friend who smiels at me. Sometimes it is when i run into someone I have not seen for years. I think this is what makes this city so magical. I was walking aorund with a visiting frind tonight and i see someone who looked familiar, like one of my childhood friends, and it turns out, it was one of my best friends from third grade. AMAZING! We are both living here, and we reconnect on a street corner. I dont’ know about you, my loyal readers, but I know that doesn’t usually happen to me in America. But here, in this magical city, it happens all the time. And I am SOOOO Happy it does!
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It will be good, but sometimes I am broken. As i was walking around town this evening, getting some air before locking myself in my room to do the homework I have been putting off, I started to think. Why is it that good intentions are always misunderstood, that wanting to help and be a good friend is always thought of as wanting something in return, wanting to be mor e than friends, or something else? I’ve seen this a lot recently. Sometimes, all I want to do is be nice, help out, be there for my friends, and nothing more than have a nice friendship.
I’ve found that lately, I am bothered because I give my heart to so many, put my heart into so many frienships because I truly care about people, and they don’t get it. I would do almost anything for anyone I consider my friend. I put my heart into it, I want people to be happy, I want to help. But, I think that’s my fault for caring too much, for putting too much of me into it, for trying to be a nice person. Is it so hard to ask how someone’s day is, to call someone back, to be a friend? Dont’ worry, I’m not talking about anyone in particular, I’m just thinking about events I’ve had in my life, feelings I have, things I’ve seen. I think it’s society, going back to “When Harry Met Sally” and the famous line: men and women can’t just be friends. Maybe we can? I think it’s possible, I really do. Who knows, i guess I’ll just have to go on testing my theory!

Birthright,

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Alright, so I’m blogging instead of doing homework, but I think this is productive too. It seems like it is well into the second tourist season of the year here in Jerusalem. I am longing for the quiet days, but thrilled to see so many people taking over Ben Yehuda, the stores, the eateries, the cabs! I hear English all over the place, stores have great sales, and you never know who you know that will pop up around the next corner. But, I was walking home tonight, thinkinga buot Birthright, and the land of Israel. It seems that a hot topic of discussion lately is Judaism in Israel. Many of the speakers who have come to my school to talk with us about Israel and religion within the state have emphasized the fact that Israel is a Jewish state. that Jews can live freely here, more freely than they can anywhere else in the world. They talk about how the shabbat environment here is unbeatable, kosher food is all around, etc. But, I’m still wondering if this is really true. And, what is my birthright. Is by birthright to the land of Israel? is it to religious freedom in that land? Is it the tradition and law I live my life by?
I dont want to talk about politics, the land, etc. I want to talk about my “birthright” and the State of Israel. I want to talk about the contradictions in the “Jewish State.” It seems more and more that although the state is Jewish, it is a place where only certain types of Jews are welcome. Where, the speakers, former supreme court justice’s, politicians, rabbis, come and talk to us about how Israel welcomes all Jews, but in reality, my Judaism isn’t recognized here. I have actually found that it is easier to be the Jew that I am, to be Jewish and live my Jewish life outside of Israel. Kosher food all the time is nice, but when I am ostracized for showing my hair, or told what i believe in isn’t Judaism, told I can’t perform a marriage here, or someone who converts into my movement will not be considered a Jew; I am sad, upset, and angry. Israel may be a Jewish state, but lately, i’ve found that it is a long way from being a Jewish State who accepts every Jew for who they are, for their Birthright.

New Year, New Me?

Eve Posen1 Comment
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the “New Year,” especially living in Israel for the year, where, well, this isn’t exactly the begining of a new year, in fact, it’s not the middle of the year either. Right now, I’m just experiencing another day in my life. My official New Year as a Jew is at Rosh HaShanah, already 4 months ago. And I could just see tonight and tomorrow as just another day. While Israel is a Jewish State, I have enjoyed living a Jewish year cycle. There was no hype or excessive music, shopping, etc. over christmas, halloween or Thanksgiving. And, I have to say, I am enjoying it. My life is much less focused on commercial holidays, and I feel more focused on what is important to me, figuring out who I am!
And, so, I got to thinking. What does this New Year mean to me? I often think about how lucky I am to be in a world where I have more than one new year. My birthday is a new year, Rosh HaShanah is a new year, January first begins a new secular year, and I could go on. What I really focus on is a new start, a refresher, a new me. Having so many new beginnings, I am able to focus on little steps, and check in with myself along the way at each new begining.
So, what am I hoping for, wishing for, resolving for this new year? I think, I hope this year, to listen to my heart, and to find out who I am. I need to take some time for me, to figure out what i want, and do what is right for me. I need to take care of my heart, and nurture my soul. This year, I want to be in power of my life, make the changes I want to make. This year, I hope and pray for health and happiness for my family, my friends and all who are in my heart. This year, I hope for continued growth and learning for myself. This year, i want to be me!

Walking in a winter wonderland…

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Yes, that’s right, it snowed in Jerusalem, and then some. This is after all, always a question: when you are in Jerusalem for a winter, will it snow or not? The last time I lived in Jerusalem, it snowed one day, but I was in the desert and by the time we got back, it was gone. This time, i did not miss it. In fact, i document the entire occurance from begining to end. You see, yesterday they started to predict the possiblity of 1/2 an inch of snow today. It started as a nasty and not fun rain storm. This storm lasted all night last night, and when I awoke this morning, no snow. I did awake, however to some magnificent lightening, followed by watching the rain turn into hail and back. The power by the light at my house was out, and I will say, Israelis do not treat this situation as a 4 way stop. It was very much every person for themselves. I watched 2 of my classmates navigate the street and even took a picture of them from my window! Then, i watched as a police car showed up to direct traffic, but were too chicken to be outside. iw atched them suit up, get out of the car, get back in, get out again, get back in, and finally drove away. Just as they were driving away, traffic became very bad, so they had to turn around and come back, and finally got out of the car to direct traffic. Now, I understand that it is cold out, and wet, and I hate it as much as the next person if I had to stand in the middle of an Israeli intersection during rush hour, however, people’s lives’ were at stake, so I was happy to see them finally take the initiative to keep law and order to the roads!

My walk to school this morning was damp, but fun. i was all bundeled up, like I used to do when I was a kid. I had my rain pants on, my hat, hood, jacket, hood, scarf and mittens. I was ready to rock and roll. And dont’ forget my spiffy snow/ice shoes, I was ready for anything. School finished and it was still raining, no snow. I went home determined to do my work. Then, around 3pm i looked out the window and saw the most magnificent, beautiful, huge, pure white snow flakes fluttering down from the sky.

A shehechianu moment if I have ever had one. It was beautiful. I immediately grabbed my camera and started snapping pictures out of my window. When i realized it wasn’t going to let up for a while, i got bundled up again and headed out for an hour snapping pictures every way i looked. What a sight to be seen. This city is beautiful with it’s own special charm year round, but something about the pure, white snow blanketing the streets, trees, cars, makes this city even more holy, more special. Palm trees with snow on them. Children making snowballs, playing, laughing, care free. The mood lifted, people are smiling and enjoying the rare occurance.

Now, 7 hours later, it is still snowing and the trees are covered nicely. The night has made for a winter wonderland. I feel at home. I might be freezing in my cold apartment, but I am happy, peaceful staring at the white snow. I didn’t get my homework done, but I think that’s o.k. After all, how often will I have the opportunity to see Jerusalem covered in at least an inch of snow. I truly am in a winter wonderland!