Inside Out – Parshat Terumah 5772

Eve PosenLeave a comment

As you walk around the halls of our school, you are likely to notice the inspirational quotes and posters hung on the walls.  They are meant to remind us to be ourselves, to stay positive and bring smiles to our faces.  One of these posters reads “When you’re with others, don’t be a chameleon.”  I love this poster, not only because it reminds me of a childhood story about a chameleon named Leon, but because it sends an incredibly important message. 
We often have different personalities that we wear on different occasions.  For our students it might be that in one teacher’s class they can’t stop talking, but in another they don’t ever utter a word until asked a direct question.  Out in public you might have this huge, charismatic persona, but in private you are quiet and reserved.  These are differences that might be seen as coping mechanisms for unfamiliar situations.  In other instances, a person might be two-faced – sweet when trying to win someone over, but conniving and hurtful when other people are around.  We all have varying degrees of versions of ourselves that we display at different times.
This week we read parshat Terumah, which discusses the gifts that were needed and which materials were necessary to build the Mishkan.  The text speaks of the idea that a gift must come from the heart.  God does not want the Mishkan to be created from gifts of coercion, but rather by the good and true intentions of the people of Israel.  These materials are to be used to build a remembrance of God.  They need to be as pure as the intentions of the people who provide them.
In chapter 25, verses 10-11, the text states “They shall make an ark of acacia wood, two and a half cubits long, a cubit and a half wide, and a cubit and a half high.  Overlay it with pure gold – overlay it inside and out – and make upon it a gold molding round about.”  We get the idea that it’s to be a fancy wood box covered with gold, which is logical because the outside, the parts that will be seen, should be ornate and beautifully decorated.  But why does the inside need to be covered in gold too? 
Anyone who has cut and laid shelf paper in kitchen shelves has probably asked a similar question.  Does it really need to be perfect if no one will see it?  The answer according to the Torah is an emphatic YES!  The inside and the outside must match.  The rabbis teach that this is because who we are on the inside must shine through to our outer personality.  In the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Yoma daf72b, we learn “Any scholar who is not the same kind of person in private as in public is not a true scholar.”  That is to say that we must be true to ourselves no matter what the situation and location. 
If you try too hard to become a chameleon and blend in, then you lose the unique spark that comes from your heart and makes your life a gift.  If a plain wood box is worthy enough to be covered in gold inside and out, so too are human beings – created in the image of God – worthy of letting the divine spark in each of us shine through and brighten our world. 
ללמוד  To Learn: ללמד  To Teach: לשמור  To Keep:  לעשות  To Do:  We often speak of our public and private spaces and what is appropriate in each space.  This week’s parshah teaches us that God dwells among us, wherever we dwell, which would seem to mean that even in our private space we have the responsibility of putting forth our best self.  Ask your family: How is your home a sacred space?

I for an I: Taking the Commandments Personally – Parshat Mishpatim 5772

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Treat others as you wish to be treated.  It’s the golden rule and something we strive to teach our children to live by.  As part of our pledge to be a “No Place for Hate” school, we believe every person is created equal and in God’s image.  We remind our students about good manners and how to work together as a team.  We remind them of the 10 Commandments, which we read in last week’s Torah portion.  It’s the 10 ways in which we aim to create a society balanced between our relationship with God and our relationship with others.  This list of commandments is the central 10; however, the Torah is made up of 603 other mitzvot that we are to follow. 
When we see the number 613, it can be overwhelming.  As a general rule, teachers try to keep classroom rules to only five to seven.  Procedures and instructions for various activities might be numerous, but rules are to be a smaller number.  I can only imagine the look on my students’ faces if I put 613 rules up on the board and expected them to follow each one.  Perhaps this feeling of being overwhelmed with rules is why the Torah breaks down the mitzvot among all the weekly readings. 
This week we read parshat Mishpatim, which focuses on the mitzvot from human to human and how we treat one another.  The text centers on the basic human rights to which each individual is entitled.  The narrative also reminds us that at the core of our actions we are responsible for the welfare of others under our care, whether that’s our family, our workers or our neighbors.  We learn that there are basic human necessities that we are expected to help provide for others.  Food, clothing and companionship should be provided for any person who is left alone in our society.  We are also cued into the idea of “eye for an eye” and taught that the consequence must match the action. 
Specifically, in chapter 22 verses 20-23, the text teaches, “You shall not wrong a stranger, nor oppress him; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.  You shall not afflict any widow, or orphaned child.  If you afflict them in any ways and they cry to Me, I will surely hear their cry; and My anger shall burn hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows and your children orphans.”  God reminds us that all mitzvot are about the relationship with ourselves, with God and with others.  By respecting ourselves we gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a human being.  By respecting others, especially those who have nothing (the widow, stranger and orphan) we make sure that we protect God’s creation.  In doing both of these, we bring respect, dignity and honor to God. 
The punishment that God gives for those who oppress the stranger and the orphan is that they too shall know this pain.  This is where we get the concept of “an eye for an eye,” and it begs us to put ourselves into the shoes of those around us and act in a way that treats each human being with dignity and respect.  The mitzvot of the Torah are the 613 rules to live by, but they all point to one basic principle: treat others as you want to be treated.  When it comes down to it, this week’s parshah asks us to take a look at ourselves and our lives and make sure that the same dignities that we expect are those that we help provide to others.  Each of us is created betzelem Elohim, in God’s image.  There is no place for hate, only for love when we cherish these mitzvot. 
ללמוד  To Learn: ללמד  To Teach: לשמור  To Keep:  לעשות  To Do:  the Torah speaks about Shabbat and the necessity of taking Shabbat as a time of reflection and relaxation on multiple occasions.  In chapter 23, verse 12, the Torah teaches “six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall cease from labor, in order that your ox and your ass may rest, and that your bondman and the stranger may be refreshed.”  This teaches that we have an obligation to make sure that our family, other works and animals are also given the opportunity to rest.   We are again reminded that our actions impact others and that we must always ensure that taking care of our own needs does not force others to lose their own rest.  This week, take the time to sit together with your family and just chill out.  You might be surprised by the results. 

All The Small Things – Parshat Yitro 5772

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Teaching in the Middle School, I find myself trying, as I’m sure the parents do, to find the happy medium between micromanaging the students and their study habits (like requiring benders and study guides and giving extra time for projects) and letting the students manage their own time and studying schedule.  If I micromanage, the students get the work done, but they also lose the responsibility for their own learning, homework and growth.  If I let the students figure it out completely on their own, then I risk facing less than stellar quiz grades and assignments that are never turned in.  It’s the same situation in the office place.  By micromanaging we can become bogged down by the nitty gritty, but at least we’ll stay on top of the details.  On the other hand, if we let the reigns go a little or delegate responsibility, we might find ourselves in a heap of trouble if something gets left behind.  So we’re faced with a challenge: how do we find our happy medium?
Moshe, the leader of the Israelites out from Egypt to the Promised Land, is also trying to learn this lesson.  Parshat Yitro, our Torah portion for the week, introduces us to Moshe the workhorse, a workaholic who needs to be reacquainted with his family because he never sees them.  While in thisparshah Moshe receives the Ten Commandments, he also learns an important life lesson about management of a community.  Since God called on Moshe, he has been the sole leader of the people, dealing with the problems, disputes and needs of the Israelites on his own. The text describes Moshe as the judge of the people, with the people standing in line from morning until evening until Moshe can help them solve their disputes.  When Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, asks Moshe what’s going on, Moshe simply tells him that he’s doing the job God asked him to do.  Waiting in line all day long has become a way of life for the people because only Moshe can do the job of judge.
I imagine we all have moments where we think, “If you want something done right . . .”  You feel that no one else knows the intricacies of the job like you do.  When you’re working on something close to your heart, you have a sense of ownership and protection over your work that does not allow you to think anyone else can do the job.  But each time we take on a new task, that investment of time has to come from somewhere, whether it’s another five minutes we could be spending with family or much needed time to rest.  When we’re in the thick of our work, we often lose sight of the big picture and need help regaining perspective. 
Yitro witnesses Moshe approaching burnout, and he is concerned.  In Chapter 18, verse 18, Yitro tells Moshe that he cannot do this alone; he will surely be ripped to shreds if he continues this way.  Yitro then devises a plan for Moshe.  Chapter 18, verses 19-26 contain the basic breakdown of a legal system.  Most important in these words is Yitro’s advice to Moshe, basically saying “Moshe, set judges for the people, they will handle all the small things, the day to day little problems, you, the leader, you handle the big stuff.” 
Moses learned that it’s impossible to be all things to all people. Leadership isn’t about always being the first to arrive and the last to go home. Rather, it’s about recognizing and capitalizing on the strengths in a community of people. That’s when the real work gets done.
ללמוד  To Learn: ללמד  To Teach: Parshat Yitro contains within it the 10 Commandments, and the description of the fire, lightning and thunder that was part of the event.  Chapter 19 of the book of Shemot reminds us that it is necessary to use our senses in order to be fully present in experiences.   Read through chapter 19 together as a family and put yourself in the shoes of the Israelites at the mountain.  As a family discuss how you feel?  What you expect?  What does this tell you about the importance of these mitzvot. 
לשמור  To Keep:  לעשות  To Do: As a family, take a look at the 10 Commandments and discuss how each commandment can be kept and honored in your lives.  Looking at the basic ideas presented in each commandment, come up with your own tablets and rules to live by that will help lead you to truly understand and embrace these 10 mitzvot. 
And God said all of these things saying:
I am God, your God that brought you out from the land of Egypt from the house of slavery.  You should not have other Gods before me.
You should not make for yourself idols or images that are in the sky above or the earth below or in the water below the land.  You will not bow down to them or worship them because I, God your God is a jealous God and remember the sins of the fathers on the children for 3rd and 4th generations of those who hate me.  And I will do good to the 1000th generation of those who love me and guard my mitzvot.
you will not lift up the name of God, your God in a lie because God will not forgive those who use God’s name as a lie.
Remember the Shabbat day for it is holy.  6 days you will work and do all of your work.  On the seventh day it is Shabbat for God your God, you will not do all work; you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your animal or the stranger that is in your gates.  Because in 6 days God made the sky and the land, the sea and all that is in them and he rested on the 7th day therefore God blessed day 7 and made it holy.
Honor your father and your mother so that your days will be lengthened on the land that God gave to you.
You will not murder.
You will not commit adultery.
You will not steal.
You will not give false testimony about your neighbor.
You will not covet the house of your friend, you will not covet the wife of your friend or his male servant or female servant, or his donkey or anything that belongs to your friend.

Searching for More When You Need Less – Parshat BeShalach 5772

Eve PosenLeave a comment

There’s no doubt about it – transitions can be scary.  A new job means new coworkers and an unfamiliar commute.  Transitioning from single life to married life brings questions like how to share a bathroom, who will do the dishes, when will I have private time.  The transition from lower school to middle school finds our students with all sorts of new anxieties about daily life, workload, and friendships, even when they’re already comfortable with the building and the teachers. 
In Sefer Shemot, the Book of Exodus, the Israelites are in constant transition: from slavery to freedom, from civilization to the desert, from known to the unknown.  In Parshat Beshalach, the Torah portion this week, we find the Israelites on their journey out of Egypt and ready to move on to the next phase in their live.  They have put an enormous amount of faith in God, a force they have yet to truly encounter as a community. 
The fear of the unknown is powerful within the Israelites, and as the journey continues, their fragility and tentativeness come to a head.  As the Israelites are camped out, Pharaoh’s army starts to approach.  Because the people are afraid that they will be captured again, they complain to Moses in chapter 14 verses 11-12 that they would have been better off staying in Egypt.  Even though we sing at Pesach every year, Dayeinu, freedom would have been enough; the Israelites have no sense of security yet. 
When Moses responds with faith, believing that God will protect them, the Israelites seem satiated for the time being.  They acknowledge they have been saved, but are still fragile.  But security isn’t the only human need.  As they journey on, they are thirsty and can only remember the sweet waters in Egypt, the plentiful liquid nourishment.  They complain again and finally receive water, but as I’m sure you can guess, quenching their thirst isn’t the end of the story.  The people feel the pangs of hunger, and they cry out that they require food and to know where their next meal will come from. 
As the people learn to embrace freedom, they also learn that part of freedom is the responsibility to speak up if your needs aren’t being met.  Abraham Maslow, a 20th century psychologist, suggests that individuals can only become self actualized if they have all their other levels of basic needs met.  This begins with physiological needs.  A basic sense that there will be food, water, shelter, and sleep.  The second level that must be fulfilled is that of safety – safety of body, resources, family, health, and property.  The hierarchy goes on to discuss belonging, esteem, and then finally self actualization.  These first two levels of the hierarchy must be met in order to move forward.  It makes sense that the Israelites complained at first.  Their basic needs and safety were not being met, and they didn’t know if they would survive.
But the grass is always greener.  Once these needs were met, the Israelites did not stop complaining and got stuck in the mindset of wanting more.  Water and mana were no longer enough.  They wanted meat, and they wanted more water, better water.  We can certainly relate.  Your laptop is barely a few months old, but that new model is so tempting.  And what’s wrong with buying just one more outfit while it’s in style? 
It comes as no surprise to any parent that has lived through a large transition like a move or a small one like switching to Daylight Saving Time that transitions show us the need for routine, schedule and security.  When the Israelites first left Egypt, they wanted to go back out of fear of the unknown, and it took renewing that sense of self and sense of place for them to put their trust in Moses and in God. 
The Israelites went through several phases of transition, and the story of the Exodus presents us with a choice for how we deal with our own transitions.  We can work to find ourselves by trusting in ourselves and in God, or we can continually find something that we feel is lacking, something that holds us back, or something that could always be better.  The question is how will you spend your journey? 
ללמוד  To Learn: ללמד  To Teach: One of the first things we learn about the Israelites’ journey is that God is going to take them on the long road out of Egypt rather than the most direct way. Why does God make this decision?
לשמור  To Keep:  לעשות  To Do:  Chapter 16, verse 23 teaches us that the Israelites needed to put food aside on Friday to eat during Shabbat.  The idea of setting aside food for Shabbat, or tzedakahbefore Shabbat reminds us that we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves and others at all times.  As a family, try to remember each Shabbat to set aside some time, money or necessities to be donated to help others. 

Beneath the Pale Moon Light – Parshat Bo 5772

Eve PosenLeave a comment

There is a classic scene in the movie An American Tale where the small mouse, Fievel, is lost from his family.  He’s all alone at night, staring up into the bright moonlight and singing “Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moon light, someone’s thinking of me, and loving me tonight.”  The moon not only lights the little mouse’s way was he tries to find his family, but it offers a comfortable connection even when someone is far away. 
As Jews, we also have a special connection to the moon.  Our months and years are tied to the lunar cycle.  This week we read parshat Bo, during which the Israelites finally make their way out of the oppression in Egypt and can almost taste freedom for the first time.  In a way, this anticipation is like those months leading up to the birth of a child.  Parents ponder their hopes and dreams for their new baby.  They’re already making wishes, listing wants and setting goals.  Similarly, you can imagine God at this moment when His people, the Children of Israel, are nearing their birth into a new era, with new needs, desires and freedom.  As the “parent,” God’s dreams include a calendar comprised of guidelines and instructions for daily living that were sure to enable the Israelites to live their lives through structure. 
Chapter 12 begins to construct the Israelite calendar, which begins with Pesach and continues to build to throughout the Torah narrative.  The text reads, “This month shall mark for you the beginning of the months, it shall be the first of the months of the year for you.”  Knowing from the narrative of creation that our days begin with the evening, our months also follow the pattern of the moon.  This is fitting as the moon waxes and wanes through the months just as the Israelites surely will change as they experience freedom.  The S’fat Emet, a 19th century Torah commentary by Yehudah Aryeh Leib of Ger, suggests that the reason that our months are counted by the moon is because it waxes and wanes; it disappears and grows bright again.  The Jewish people as a whole, throughout history, go through cycles of suffering and prosperity. 
The light of the moon is helpful; when it is full we can sometimes see even without a flashlight.  But, when the moon is a tiny sliver at the beginning or end of a month, it can be very difficult to see anything at all at night.  Each of us as individuals may also find ourselves in this cycle of dark and light, but it’s the cycle that reminds us that even in darkness there are brighter days ahead.    
ללמוד  To Learn: ללמד  To Teach: Our parshah this week speaks of the commandment to tell the story of our people to the next generation.  The Torah teaches us that our collective memory is what sustains us as a people as one generation teaches the text.  There’s no time like now to learn and share your family’s story.  Check out www.ancestry.com for a start, or register and attend Dallas LearningFest 2012 and learn how to do the research through Meyer Denn’s Class. www.learningfest.org  
לשמור  To Keep:  לעשות  To Do: So often we see the pages of the calendar turn so quickly that we feel like time is racing by.  Living according to a lunar calendar allows us the awareness to check the sky every night and be keenly aware of the passing time.  Take a moment once each week with your family to track the moon’s changes.  Use this time to reflect on your week and make goals for the coming week.