I Get Knocked Down – Parshat Vaera 5775

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i-get-knocked-downIf you say it often enough, “No I can’t” can become a mantra just as easily as “Yes I can.” Last year I was facing a new job and a move across country with an infant and puppy. Having to coordinate the logistics for the entire move created so many moments when I felt “I can’t.” It was easier than I’d like to admit to just sit and do nothing instead of face the new challenges.

The “I can’t” and the “It’s too hard” can take many forms. They might be uttered by a child attempting to master a new skill and wanting to give up or an adult who is at her wit’s end with work, family, and life in general. Life can take us by storm, and the very thought of moving forward can be overwhelming and crushing. Perhaps you’ve been fired or let go from a position you loved, or you have so many projects all depending on you that you’re not even sure what the next step should be.

Each of us has a certain amount of struggle and stress we can handle at a given time, and when we reach our breaking point, out comes the “I can’t.” The Israelites also have a breaking point as a people. This week’s parshah, Vaera, finds the Israelites in the midst of their transition from slavery to freedom. God reminds Moshe about the covenant made with our forefathers and that redemption is in the near future. Moshe tries to share this with the people Israel, but they aren’t ready to listen to him.

The image painted is one of Moshe, perched in front of the nation, ready to share God’s promises with them, and the nation has their heads down, their ears closed. They are tired, and even more telling, are unsure whom to trust. Chapter 6, verse 9: “But when Moses told this to the Israelites, they would not listen to Moses, their spirits crushed by cruel bondage.” Our commentators question what the “soul crushing” was. Could it be that they are so tired from the hard work that they are unable to understand the possibility of change? Or could it be that they are aware of the hard work freedom would require and they are simply unable to comprehend putting that amount of energy forward?

Ultimately, the Israelites are able to rally their efforts and move forward, but our Torah portion this week reminds us of the difficulty in moving forward after traumatic or overwhelming events or when the “I can’t” becomes so ingrained it feels normal. For the Israelites it took the leadership of Moshe and the trust of an entire community to forge a better life. When our spirits are crushed, may we find some inspiration in our own power to get up and move forward to a renewed freedom.

Lessons in the Stars – Parshat Shemot 5775

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lessons-in-our-starsThis week, we read parshat Shemot, the first portion in the second book of the Torah. It’s named Shemot (names) because the text begins: “These are the names of the sons of Israel who came to Egypt with Ya’acov, each with his household: Reuven, Shimon, Levi and Yehudah, Issachar, Zevulun and Binyamin, Dan and Naftali, Gad and Asher. All the descendants of Ya’acov were seventy persons; and Yosef was already in Egypt.”

Many commentators question why the text begins by telling us not only that the sons of Jacob went to Egypt, but that it lists each name individually. Why the roll call? It reminds me of the “In Memoriam” section from an awards show. The tribes, the brothers, have lived their lives and are remembered, and the community has gathered together after a shift in location to once again look back on those who gave them comfort, those whose stories brought them laughter and tears, and those whose life lessons they have taken to heart.

Who are the bright stars on your list? Is there an entertainer or a public figure or an athlete whose absence diminishes the light in your own life just a little bit? Among last year’s “list” were two particular losses that especially affected me: Robin Williams and Joan Rivers. They were two people who brought me laughter and taught me some of life’s greatest lessons. The Genie in Aladdin taught me all the wishing and hoping in the world doesn’t change who you are inside – that’s up to you. Mrs. Doubtfire taught me about teshuva, about righting the wrongs of the past to make a better future. Joan Rivers taught me to laugh at myself, and to be proud of who I am. She was a pioneer for women in comedy and stood her ground in the face of many haters.

What are your names? What names recall lessons learned or milestones marked?

This past summer I spent time converting the VHS tapes of shows and personalities I grew up on into DVDs. Thank goodness my mom saved these so I could share this magic with my daughter. As I watched parts of each episode in real time during the transfer, it was as though I was back to being six, watching my “friends.” Everything was all right – young and innocent.

These are the names. Whether they are the names of our biblical figures, the names of our pop icons, the names of our family members who’ve had significant influence in our lives, they are the names that bring back comfort, emotion, and lessons learned.

Uniquely You – Parshat Vayechi 5775

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baby-name-blessingAs a parent, I found choosing a name for our sweet baby to be overwhelming.  We knew we wanted to name her after my father with an “s” name and after Duncan’s grandmother, with an “a” name.  We knew we wanted a name that was filled with meaning.  But then came the question: “What if the name we give her is not reflective of who she is?”  We named her Shiri (“my song”), but what if she has no interest in singing later in life?  We explained at her naming that we also blessed her with the characteristics of those she’s named for so we could expect her to grow up to be like them, but time will tell how well her name expresses who she becomes.

As we know throughout the first book of the Torah, names play an important role in telling us the stories of our forefathers.  We start with Abraham and Sarah, who go through name changes that describe the great nation they will help build.  Isaac receives his name because of the laughter his parents shared at the amazement of his conception.  Jacob gets his first name from holding his brother’s heel at birth and receives a second name after an encounter with God.  These names teach us about the people who carry them as much as they identify who they are in a crowd.

This week parshat Vayechi, the final section of text in sefer Bereshit (Genesis), tells of the deaths of both Jacob and Joseph and their final moments with family members.  In the final moments, Jacob blesses Joseph’s sons and all of his own children.  He promises to tell them what will happen to them in the future, but instead he shares with each child their special gifts and character.

When the children were given their names earlier in the narrative, their names represented how they came into the world and who their parents hoped they would be.  In the end, we learn that parents don’t really have prophecy into who their children will be.  As these children grew, their father recognized that they might represent the characteristics entailed by their birth name, but they also have other blessings to share with the world.

As parents, this parshah reminds us that it is our responsibility to recognize these changes and growth in our children too.  We can name them in honor of loved ones and pray that they carry those character traits with them, but we should also recognize the beautiful, funny, creative individuals our children grow into as they experience our world.  Their individuality is the greatest blessing we can give them.

Two Wrongs; Make it Right – Parshat Vayigash 5775

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IMG_1425.JPGIt is human nature to want to reciprocate actions, whether good or bad.  When someone does something nice for us, we want to pay them back or pay it forward.  When someone is horrible or mean, we want to be equally mean back.  But an “eye for an eye” isn’t always right or fair.  In our world where we work towards fairness and equality, it can be truly difficult to stand up and do the right thing when we really want others to feel our pain.

Parshat Vayigash, our Torah portion for this week, is the continuation of the saga between Joseph and his brothers.  Yehudah, one of the master perpetrators of the evil against Joseph, stands up for his brothers and asks to be imprisoned to spare Benjamin.  Later, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, his brothers tell Jacob that Joseph is still alive, seventy members of Jacob’s people follow him down to Egypt, and the family is reunited.  At this point the narrative takes pause.

In the first lines of the parshah, we see Yehudah stand up for his brothers, we see him try to right the wrong he did against Joseph, leaving Joseph with a choice.  Joseph can continue to imprison Benjamin; in doing so he would certainly inflict pain on his brothers, the kind of pain he felt years earlier when he himself was sent off.  But, he would also cause more pain to his father, something he could not stomach.

Joseph is ultimately moved to tears by the speech his brother Yehudah gives.  He realizes that keeping Benjamin would be acting as his brothers did, stooping to their level.  Instead, he decides to rise above it and do what is right.  And in a sense, Joseph is still reciprocating.  He’s not reciprocating the pain he felt much earlier in his life, he’s reciprocating the positive step forward he sees from Yehudah.

Siblings know how to push each other’s buttons better than anyone else.  It would have been easy for Joseph to wrong his brothers as they had wronged him, but instead, Joseph gathers his inner strength and is able to rise above the pettiness and past negative of their relationship.  What better reminder that while it is easy to commit a wrong in retaliation for a wrong, righting a situation will always yield the better outcome.

photo credit: The Hamster Factor via photopin cc

The Name Game – Parshat Miketz 5775

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name-badgesSouthern manners are a real thing.  Having lived the last four years in Texas, I heard and became accustomed to titles for everyone.  It was Mr. X or Ms. Y, Mrs. A or Dr. B.  We do our best to impart habits like this to Shiri and have taught her since she was tiny that everyone has a title and deserves to use that title.  But as a rabbi, I know that sometimes our titles can become our names, and a bit of individual identity is lost.  People often resort to calling me “Rabbi” instead of “Rabbi Posen” or “Rabbi Eve.”  While this works in theory, there are many times when I’m not the only rabbi around, and it can be difficult to determine who’s being beckoned.  “Rabbi” without a qualifier like first or last name is like calling out “Mom” or “Dad” in a crowded room; a dozen parents are likely to turn around.  Our titles and names are the way in which we can be easily identified.  They are the personalized method of keeping track of the people we meet and know.

The Torah takes names seriously as well.  Abraham was originally Avram, and Sarah was Sarai until they both had an encounter with God that changed their lives.  Like a bride and groom becoming Mr. and Mrs. or having the title rabbi or doctor bestowed upon you when you earn your degree and start a career, names tell us something about where we are in the world and who we are as people.

Parshat Miketz, the portion of Torah we read this week, again reminds us of the story behind each name we carry and the power it holds.  The parshah is the turning point in the Joseph saga.  Joseph solves Pharaoh’s dreams and becomes a great leader in Egypt.  He then marries, has two sons named Ephraim and Menashe, and the land endures the seven years of plenty and seven years of famine as foreseen.  We know how the story concludes, with Joseph’s brothers coming to Egypt in search of food, and Joseph recognizing them without them knowing who he is.  What we don’t talk about as much is the period of time as Joseph works his way up in Egyptian society to become Pharaoh’s right-hand man.

During this time Joseph is given a new name by Pharaoh.  In chapter 41 the following interaction occurs: “Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘I am Pharaoh; yet without you, no one shall lift up hand or foot in all the land of Egypt.’ Pharaoh then gave Joseph the name Zaphenath-paneah; and he gave him a wife…”  This new Egyptian name means “God speaks; he lives,” or “creator/sustainer of life.”  Clearly Pharaoh believes that Joseph, a Hebrew name, is not befitting of someone with such power and honor in society.

We’ve seen previous name changes in the Torah, but this is the first instance in Jewish tradition of someone having two names simultaneously – one Hebrew, for religious purposes, and the other secular, representing what Joseph does for the greater society.

We continue a similar tradition today; Jewish children typically receive a Hebrew name and an English name.  The idea is not that we’re two different people, in the same way that Rabbi Posen is not a separate person from Eve.  Rather, the two names represent different parts of who we are to ourselves and to the world.  I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and a rabbi, and all of these 24/7.

As we near the closing of the secular year, may we remember that our Jewish and secular lives are not exclusive of each other.  They are intimately woven together, and we rely on both to be full and complete.