Do You Love Me? – Parshat Devarim 5776

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Do You Love Me?

One of my favorite scenes in Fiddler on the Roof is when Tevye and Golde sing their duet “Do You Love Me?” It’s a moment of pure honesty when Tevye questions the state of their marriage after all these years. This kind of emotional check-in is natural; it’s a part of continuing to build a relationship and partnership together. Do you love me? Do you like me? Are you mad at me? These moments happen all the time, perhaps because we’re questioning our own emotions and therefore seek to validate them.

This week in our parshah, we enter into the final book of the Torah, Devarim (Deuteronomy). Devarim stresses the covenant between God and Israel and looks toward Israel’s future in a new land as they build a society that pursues justice and righteousness. The central theme of this section of text is monotheism – the belief in one God – and the summation of the laws we’ve been given over the course of the four previous books.

Chapter 1, verse 27 reveals the Israelites’ conversation with Moshe: “It is because the Lord hates us that He brought us out of the land of Egypt to hand us over to the Amorites.” Though their theory is incorrect, it’s understandable that the Israelites would express this concern. They’ve been moved out of the only land they’ve ever known. They’re scared, and so they blame their fear on God instead of reflecting rationally on the situation.

In fact, Rashi interprets this line as “If God really loved us, God would have given us the land of Egypt and sent the Egyptians into the wilderness.” Their fear blinds them to the possibility that, as difficult as the journey has been, it is because God loves them that they left Egypt. In other words, because I love you I’ve given you the chance to grow, change, and build a whole new nation.

“Do you love me?” is mostly a rhetorical question in the musical. We know they love each other. Sometimes we ask questions when we already know the answers, and as our parshah teaches, this validation is often all we need. Even Tevye and Golde acknowledge: “It doesn’t change a thing, but even so, after 25 years it’s nice to know.”

Stops Along the Way – Parshat Matot-Masei 5776

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Stops Along the Way

Duncan and I love taking road trips. For us, the stops along the way are equally as exciting as the final destination. When we traveled pre-children, we would simply leave with a destination in mind and an amount of time we had to get there. We’d stop when we were tired or if we happened upon a fun diversion. As you can imagine, Shiri has made our trips a bit more purposeful. We still know where we need to end up, but now we try to do it in as little time as possible. I’m sure when our children are a little older, we’ll be able to refocus some of the travel time on stops along the way, but for now these road trips are all about the final destination and not really about the path we take to get there. I’ll be honest – I prefer the leisurely, scenic approach.

This week we read the final sections of text from the fourth book of the Torah, Bamidbar. Parshiyot Matot and Masei begin with the discussion of the different vows Israelites might make, and then they detail the requests of the various tribes as they get ready to enter the Promised Land. The chapters end with the final placements of all the tribes as they prepare to divide their land inheritance.

Parshat Masei begins with what appears to be a dry list of places. Basically, here’s where we stopped for a night along the way to our destination (Israel). However, our sages view this list as God telling Moshe, “Write down all the places through which Israel journeyed, that they might recall the miracles I wrought for them, guiding them safely through human and natural dangers.” This list, according to the midrash, was actually a recap of how blessed the Israelites were on their journey, not just a directory of the DoubleTrees where they stayed. (Of course when the Israelites stayed at a DoubleTree, it was literally just two trees.)

The point is the Torah could have simply recounted the miracles that occurred, but instead it lists the locales, and by doing so, intimately connects physical space to emotional space. Too often we read the Torah and assume the goal of wandering in the wilderness was to get from Egypt to Israel. Our Torah portion this week reminds us that the journey is about what happens at every step along the way to achieving that goal. Each interaction with another city helped build the character of the Israelites. Each stop let them experience the world a little bit more as free people after they left their life of slavery in Egypt. The stops along the way mark the transitions that the Israelites needed to go through in order to arrive prepared and open-minded in the land of Israel.

On a road trip, you never know what restaurant, landmark, or hidden treasure you’ll find if you just take the time to open your eyes, look around, and enjoy. There are certain times when it’s necessary to stick to the road and get to the destination as fast as possible, but this week’s parshah suggests that equally important in the journey are the stops we make along the way.

Count Off – Parshat Pinchas 5776

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Count Off

When I worked in the day school world and we’d take the kids on a field trip, we had to keep track of the group throughout each portion of the excursion. That meant taking attendance about 100 times (at least it felt like that many). We’d check to see if we were all there when we got on the bus, when we arrived at a destination, and then when we got back on the bus (and in the evening and morning for overnight trips). It felt like I was constantly counting little heads. The counting was both to reassure me that all kids were accounted for, but also meant that the kids were responsible to each other for being on time for the count because no one liked having to count off multiple times.

The act of taking attendance is even a Torah commandment. This week we read parshat Pinchas. We begin with the story of Pinchas (identified as Aaron’s grandson) and the extreme action he took against those who defied the prohibition of idolatry. Then we move to the daughters of Zelophechad (Joseph’s great-great-great-grandson), who want to inherit land after their father’s death because he had no sons. Then Joshua is appointed Moshe’s successor, and we end with the sacrifices we are to make for Rosh Hodesh and the holidays.

Chapter 26 begins with a census of the Israelite nation. The book of Bamidbar (Numbers) itself also begins with a census, so it seems a bit strange to be engaging in another counting of the people when their location hasn’t changed. This census appears to come as the generation that left Egypt is dying out, thus its purpose is to learn about the land requirements of each clan and tribe. But more than that, according to Rashi, the situation is “Like a shepherd numbering his flock after wolves have attacked it.” In other words, after the mistrust and general bad behavior that had marred the fledgling nation, God is simply retooling, recounting the Israelites to see how many are left.

God is reminding us that, census or not, our responsibility is to look out for one another. Roll calls in general work this way. They help identify who is present and who is missing, but they also help a community gauge the state of its members. When we don’t see a familiar face we usually see, it signals us to follow up and check in on that friend. And as members of a community, counting each other is a way of counting on each other.