How do you handle criticism? Our Torah portion suggests that a rebuke has inherent value if you can use it to learn and grow.
Feet First – Parshat Ki Teitzei 5776
As someone who has been in school or working in schools for much of my adult life, I know firsthand there is something simultaneously magical and infuriating about the first day of school. I’m so excited I usually can’t sleep the night before. I jump up awake at 4:00 a.m., ready to go face the day, the year, and the newness of it all. What a blessing to be so eager, so excited to jump feet first into everything that lies ahead. At the same time, when there’s something I’m dreading doing, I tend to sleep really well, confident that I’ll be able to successfully put off or avoid this dreaded task. And that’s typical of life. When we face something fun, exhilarating, or new, we’re often eager to jump in and get started.
This holds true for our Jewish life too. The Torah teaches us that we are expected to rush to do mitzvot as soon as we’re permitted to do them. This is why a bris most often takes place first thing in the morning, and why as soon as Yom Kippur is over we’re supposed to rush home to put up our sukkah. The thrill and excitement of these events propels us forward to eagerly complete our tasks.
This week parshat Ki Teitzei shares a number of laws to govern society. We receive laws about war and taking care of hostages, laws about our clothing, laws about family relationships, parents and children, taking care of the poor and so much more. Ki Teitzei is actually the Torah portion with the most number of mitzvot within it, but the recurring theme is the desire and ways in which we should execute the mitzvot prescribed to us.
Chapter 21, verse 23 teaches, “You must not let his corpse remain on the stake overnight, but must bury him the same day.” While this verse is talking about someone who is impaled for committing a crime, the sentiment remains true for all our dead. To avoid desecration of the dead, we bury them as soon after the death as possible. However, to honor the dead, burial can be postponed to enable relatives to attend the funeral, or even to allow their organs to be donated.
In the case of a burial, we rush to perform the mitzvah, but obviously we’re not necessarily glad or excited to do it. Here our religious world and our emotional world collide. The beauty of this verse is that we are commanded not only to rush to perform a mitzvah that might not be a happy one, we are also shown the importance of treating each person in our community, regardless of their social status, with the same dignity and respect.
Ours is a feet-first religion. We rush to bury so that we can begin mourning, and we rush to name so we can begin celebrating. The common theme is that Judaism demands that we dive in.
Parenting by the Parshah – Ki Teitzei
Know any stubborn and rebellious children? This week’s Torah portion, Ki Teitzei, is for you.
Guardians of the Soul – Parshat Shoftim 5776
Baruch sh’amar v’hayah ha’olam, baruch Hu. Blessed is the one who spoke and the world was, blessed is He. These words open one of the central prayers of our morning liturgy. How fitting that each day begins with the reminder that the world was created as God’s mouth was opened, using words to bring into being the cycle of life that gives us life every day. I love this prayer for a number of reasons, but perhaps the greatest reason is that it reminds me daily of the power of words.
If God’s words have the power to create or destroy an entire universe, then surely our words too have the power to lift up or tear down each other’s worlds, since we all have a spark of the divine inside us. This is the lesson I try to hold with me as I open my mouth to speak or close my mouth to listen. We must be in tune with our words. How might they be interpreted by others? How might they lift up or destroy someone else’s world?
This week we read parshat Shoftim, in the middle of the book of D’varim, which outlines our legal system, the responsibilities of judges and prophets, punishments for witnesses, and more. It’s worth noting that the Torah recognizes that the legal system and those in charge of it must be hip to the times.
The text begins with chapter 16, verse 18: “You shall appoint magistrates and officials for your tribes, in all the settlements that the Lord your God is giving you, and they shall govern the people with due justice.” In other words physically, at the gates of our cities, we are to set a guard for the type of person we think would be an asset to our community. Taken metaphorically, according to a 16th century commentator, we must set guardians at the gates of our souls. The gate at our mouths guards against lying or speaking malicious gossip, the gate at our ears guards against being eager to hear malicious gossip, and the gate at our eyes guards against forming the habit of seeing the worst in others.
Judgement comes not only in the form of legal rulings, but also as we use our own minds to understand how and what we should be doing and saying in the world around us. Parshat Shoftim reminds us that our world – the cities, towns, and communities we are a part of – are built upon good judgement and how we treat one another. It is our obligation to be aware of the gates to our soul, the gates to creating a world in which we can work together to create, uplift, and celebrate.
Parenting by the Parshah – Shoftim
Help! Why is it so hard for anyone other than the Beatles to ask for it? This too is Torah.
Rabbi Eve Posen 