I FEEL LIKE I AM TALKING TO A BRICK WALL

Yes, that’s right, today, I made my first visit to the Kotel since my arrival in Jerusalem nearly a month ago. And, I must say, it was well worth it. Aside from the obvious frustrations about the inadequate space given to women at the wall, the experience was as memorable as ever. I realized today, that the last time I was at the kotel, I was merely beginning my journey toward the rabbinate. While, I suppose I have been on this journey for a while, today was the first time i had been to the Kotel since I consciously began this journey in the winter of 2004. As I approached the Old City, and specifically the Rova, I was flooded with emotions. I felt in the right place, and also so foreign. While the kotel is a meaningful place for me, the politics and religious fervor that surround the area are not my cup of tea. For me, the experience is one of intense emotions, of connection to my family, my ancestors, the story of my life. I think back to the first time iw as at the Kotel nearly 9 years ago, and i think about how different I am now, how much more of an individual I am, how much happier I am, how much more mature and grown up I am. I feel as though each visit to the kotel is another tick mark on my accomplishments and growth as a human being.
The Kotel, the place of the Temple, the place where seven days before Yom Kippur the Kohen Gadol was taken into the sacred space and prepared fro the most holy day of the year. The Kotel where my graandparents tood when they visited Israel, the Kotel, where i sat with my Parents and talked about life. The Kotel, where I knew i would be a rabbi one day… this wall, this brick wall, who has held my tears, my notes, my love for God, has become a wall that supports me, as it supported the temple. And so, another leg of my journey begins, here I stand, at the Kotel, the wall, begining my new journey, a new phase in my life, and suddenly, it all seemed clear for one split second, and then I spun back into the chaos, politics and frantic pace of life in Eretz Yisrael, my life… moving in and out from a brick wall.

The Chicken Died for MY SINS

Why did the chicken cross the shuk? TO AVOID KAPAROT!! Yesterday, I had the unique opportunity to attend a ceremony and partake of the ceremony at the shuk that is part of the tradition to rid us of our sins during the 10 days of repentance. During this ceremony, one takes a live chicken, swings it over one’s head while saying a series of formulas and prayers. At the end, the chicken is then slaugthered and in this case, given as food to the poor. This was my first time taking part and even witnessing the ancient tradition, and i have to say it was quite amazing. It was wonderful to be able to take part in a tradition that my ancestors had done for so many years, but it was also amazing to have a more physical act of ridding myself of sin than tashlich. I can’t say that it is an experience that I would repeat, as there are definite animal cruelty issues, although it did look painless, but I am glad that I went. This is all a part of my plan to have as many unique and interesting experiences as possible during my time in the holy land. And so, I start the year, sin free… well, at least symbolically!

ROSH HASHANAH in the HOLY LAND

As I reflect in this update, i am overcome with emotion. I have just celebrated Rosh HaShanah, the begining of the Jewish year in Jerusalem, and I am torn between wehre I am and wehre I want to be a year from now. I was struck by the amount of different feelings and emotions i had this year as i walked to my services, as iate with my new “family,” as I considered my actions and my deeds in the past few days. I was struck by the overwhelming yearning for love in my life, for companionship, and also for health and understanding for those whom I love. This year, i entered Rosh HaShanah feeling a bit scattered, unsettled, in a new place, far, far from home. I ended Rosh HaShanah feeling as thought I have found a place in this new environment, and I am sure I will slowly be able again to find my center.
Rosh HaShanah began this year with my new family. I went to my friend Jenn and Mat’s apartment for dinner on Friday night, along with about 15 other people. Jenn and Matt made an incredible, gourmet dinner, that fileld me up and left no room for any more food. I spent the night singing my heart out, finding a place for my heart to be happy and nejoying the company of my new “family.” As i have now spent three years away from home for the chaggim, i have become muh more dependant on my friends. These friends, many of whom I only met three weeks prior to the chaggim, have become a permanent family for me. I cannot imagine my life without them, they make me smile, laugh and love life. They have shown me what it is to be selfless, and what it is to welcome others into my life. For this, I am truly eternally grateful this Rosh HaShanah.
Another interesting event of this past Rosh HaShanah was walking the streets of Jerusalem. The streets were filled with many different sounds. Form the different services going on around town, and their various melodies, to the greeting of Shanah Tova to one another in the street. Even the bottles of Coke and Diet Coke are adorned with a greeting of Shanah Tova. It is definetly very different being in a place where the city shuts down, one can walk in the streets and feel safe. There was an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation that has enveloped the city and made for a warm, relaxed few days of prayer and growth with my friends.
This year, I also realized just how meaningful the Shofar is. First day was on Shabbat, and so, there was no Shofar blasts to awaken me to my world. I chose to Daven at Kedem, an independant, egalitarian minyan that resembles the Pico Egal minyan I am a part of in LA. It was wonderful to be a part of a minyan where everyone was serious abou ttheir davening and worked towards achieving a personal space of the utmost holiness. While this was moving, and enlightening, the lack of a sermon and a Shofar made for a very hard time finding something to really drive me. While it was nice to have services start at 8am, have kiddush at 11am and finish at 1pm, there was most for surely something missing. Second day, the Shofar blew me out of the water. I deaveneed at Morsehet Yisrael, a masorti (conservative) shul. While the services were much less meaningful than the day before, the blasts of the shofar awakened me and allowed me to fully enter into a personal space of renewal and growth this year. I found myself alarmed and captivated by the sounds of the shofar, it’s piercing blast, and the call to my senses. It was the moment i heard the first blast that goosebumps appeared on my arms, and my entire being was brought to the awareness that this year is special, this is the year for change. Now, I only hope that I am able to reach that special place.
And so, living in Israel, in Jerusalem for the begining of the year has proved to be quite the experience. I am here, emotionally and spiritually, and I am ready for what ever change might come my way! As my high school principal would say: “Make it a great day or not, the choice is yours!” “Make it a great year or not, the choice is yours!”

Falafel and More

I woke up this morning with the strongest craving for Falafel. So strong, I am amazed i even waited until lunch time to fulfill it! There is something fantastic about the falafel in Israel, it cannot be matched anywhere else in the world. The store, called from Aza to Berlin, after the two streets it is located on, makes their own falafel from scratch on site. I had a fresh falafel with homemade tahini, hummous, and many salads. I have to say, it was one of the better falafels I have ever had. Yes, as today begins my 4th week here, i finally had my first falafel. Now, i’ll need to go to the Old City and i will have fulfilled many of the “requirements” for spending time in Jerusalem.

And as i sit here, i am looking out my window, and enjyoing the peace and quiet of the streets as everyone is getting ready for the Chaggim. The atmosphere in Jerusalem is one of holiness, of peace and perhaps tranquility. There is an excitement in the air, a sense of incredible love and joy at the new year that is approaching. I know, that i CANNOT WAIT for this New year! I am ready, to start a new, to refresh myself and to discover the precious treasures of experience and more that awaits me! Enjoy the journey we are embarking on, may it be good to you! L’Shanah Tova U’metuka!! Have a sweet year!

Shanah Tova Reflections

As a Jew I have the gift of more than one New Year celebration, the secular New Year and Rosh Hashanah, the new year of the trees, the new year of the agriculture, and more. This year, Rosh HaShanah is the beginning of the year in so many ways, literally, academically, religiously, but for me, it is the beginning of a year of change. Each year I arrive at Rosh Hashanah feeling like this is the year of change. We are so blessed to have a time of self reflection and inventory of our souls and our deeds built into our yearly cycle. We have the gift of the opportunity to evaluate ourselves and really try to make a difference in our own state of being. As I begin to review the holiday liturgy, I notice that unlike the new years resolutions that are made on the secular New Year as an individual for the betterment of self, the resolutions that we make this year at our Rosh HaShanah celebration are different, they are not only focused on what we can do as individuals, but how we can act as a cohesive community. As we begin to repent and change ourselves, each of us is bound to the same code of conduct. If we take an active role in remembering what we are repenting for this year throughout the coming year, we have the amazing ability to change the world by changing our actions. If we each take care on our own not to lie, not to embitter, not to falsify, then as an individual we can make a change in our relations with others. If we take the time not to speak gossip, not to betray, not to commit any of the acts mentions in the vidui, then we can change our world and affect those around us positively. We have the opportunity here to truly create a community of strength, support and positive energies. The blue prints for this plan are laid before us in the liturgy of the yamim noraim, but it is up to us to actively live this life and bring these blue prints to life after the season of repentance, introspection and evaluation ends.

May it be your will God that I return to this date a year from now a stronger person. Help me to continue growing and becoming a better person. Keep me in your protection so that I may grow and become the person I am trying to be. Help me to know who I am and how I can be more like the person that I want to be. Shield me with your love! Help me to study and learn to my hearts content. Please continue to bless me with love, peace of mind, body and world. Please help my family be blessed in peace, health, happiness and prosperity. Bless us with the ability to change and act in accordance with our yetzer haTov, and give us the strength to over come our yetzer haRah. May we be blessed with your presence in our lives throughout the year, and may the gift of life be bestowed upon us and all our family and friends.