I FEEL LIKE I AM TALKING TO A BRICK WALL

Yes, that’s right, today, I made my first visit to the Kotel since my arrival in Jerusalem nearly a month ago. And, I must say, it was well worth it. Aside from the obvious frustrations about the inadequate space given to women at the wall, the experience was as memorable as ever. I realized today, that the last time I was at the kotel, I was merely beginning my journey toward the rabbinate. While, I suppose I have been on this journey for a while, today was the first time i had been to the Kotel since I consciously began this journey in the winter of 2004. As I approached the Old City, and specifically the Rova, I was flooded with emotions. I felt in the right place, and also so foreign. While the kotel is a meaningful place for me, the politics and religious fervor that surround the area are not my cup of tea. For me, the experience is one of intense emotions, of connection to my family, my ancestors, the story of my life. I think back to the first time iw as at the Kotel nearly 9 years ago, and i think about how different I am now, how much more of an individual I am, how much happier I am, how much more mature and grown up I am. I feel as though each visit to the kotel is another tick mark on my accomplishments and growth as a human being.
The Kotel, the place of the Temple, the place where seven days before Yom Kippur the Kohen Gadol was taken into the sacred space and prepared fro the most holy day of the year. The Kotel where my graandparents tood when they visited Israel, the Kotel, where i sat with my Parents and talked about life. The Kotel, where I knew i would be a rabbi one day… this wall, this brick wall, who has held my tears, my notes, my love for God, has become a wall that supports me, as it supported the temple. And so, another leg of my journey begins, here I stand, at the Kotel, the wall, begining my new journey, a new phase in my life, and suddenly, it all seemed clear for one split second, and then I spun back into the chaos, politics and frantic pace of life in Eretz Yisrael, my life… moving in and out from a brick wall.
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