Over the last few years I have been grappling with God, sometimes it felt like a fight, other times it felt like we were alternating giving one another the silent treatment, and others it just felt awkward. And as this last few months have gone by and the reality of my ordination is becoming clearer, I have struggled to find a place with prayer and God that I think is genuine. I want to move into that relationship once more.
I am ready to reenter into prayer and God relationships. While on the cruise ship in the middle of nowhere I had a moment where I started to converse with God again, it wasn’t about prayer or set time, it was just me on the balcony watching the ocean ripple as the boat moved through the open space, no other life visible save for the sky, the waves and the entire world living under the water. And I talked to God, I cried, and I sat. It felt really good. The first time I did this I felt like an intruder, like I had somehow wandered into God’s private, alone space, the beauty of them middle of the ocean, but as the days went on I felt more at home in God’s world. It was just what I needed. So, where to next??
I am ready to reenter into prayer and God relationships. While on the cruise ship in the middle of nowhere I had a moment where I started to converse with God again, it wasn’t about prayer or set time, it was just me on the balcony watching the ocean ripple as the boat moved through the open space, no other life visible save for the sky, the waves and the entire world living under the water. And I talked to God, I cried, and I sat. It felt really good. The first time I did this I felt like an intruder, like I had somehow wandered into God’s private, alone space, the beauty of them middle of the ocean, but as the days went on I felt more at home in God’s world. It was just what I needed. So, where to next??
Rabbi Eve Posen 