30 days dragged by, each day felt slower and slower. they seemed long, unending, I can’t believe it’s only been 30 days I would often think. It felt like an eternity. And now, here I am 60 days into this, 60 days since I’ve seen my father, 60 days since he drew in his last breath and moved from this world to the next. And I can’t believe how quickly these past 30 days have gone. They have flown by, one day blending into the next, a blur, thrown together, no breaks. The days run by at a lightning pace, no end and no beginning.
This week, while less painful than last, I am angry. I have this overwhelming sense that daddy wasn’t ready to go, he wasn’t quite there yet. And, while I know it was time, I know his body had no fight left in it, I think he was still ready to fight, willing to push forward if his body hadn’t given in. I wish i had more time with him, i wish I could have learned more from him!
60 days, and it is not any easier!
This week, while less painful than last, I am angry. I have this overwhelming sense that daddy wasn’t ready to go, he wasn’t quite there yet. And, while I know it was time, I know his body had no fight left in it, I think he was still ready to fight, willing to push forward if his body hadn’t given in. I wish i had more time with him, i wish I could have learned more from him!
60 days, and it is not any easier!
Rabbi Eve Posen 