Another Turning Point

It seems that as we grow, our lives are always turning, time directs us, time brings us out into the world. Time is my enemy and time is my friend. Everyone keeps telling me to have a good time, have a great time, enjoy my time, have the “time of my life.” But here’s the problem, I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what the time of my life is, I don’t know where I’m supposed to go at this time in my life. It’s all unpredictable, and it’s hard to wait for those things to work themselves out. I know the challenges, the unpredicatbility, the changes are all apart of growing up and making me into the person I am today, but sometimes, I wish they would just stop, that sometimes things would be easy.
I guess this is one fo those growing pains moments, where it hurts to go through it, and at the end I’ll look back on this and know that it was for the best. But, I still wonder if it’s worth the fight, if this is what it’s all about. Time keeps moving, and some days it feels like I am standing still, going no where, with nothing to do, no control over what will befall me. Growing up is hard to do, especially when you’re a world away from everything familiar, from what feels safe and like home. But, i need to spread my wings, find myself, and endure the struggle because it will be worth it in the end. I hope. And one day, I won’t be facing the world alone, but i’ll have someone by my side, to share the struggles with. I have that now in some of my friends. But, this too is a point of growing pains. Friends change, become more, and then sometimes less. Friends are what support me when I’m alone, help me make it through the days when I just want to go home. Friends make me smile, laugh and love. but sometimes, friends make me frustrated and sad, because I don’t know what they want fro me, and I dont’ know how to help them. Friends have the power to be a family for one another, and in that, we fihg,t laugh and love ach other each and everyday. I’d be lost without my friends, becuase without their guidance, their love and the fights, I wouldn’t know who I am.
this is all over the place, but so is my head right now. I’m growing, I feel it, that’s what the pain is, that’s why my head is racing, my thoughts are scary, my fingers are pounding the keys. This is it, this is a growth spurt, and I will grow, and I will be o.k. I just wish I knew where it would end.. when will I know?!?!
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One thought on “Another Turning Point

  1. Britt / Pesach December 17, 2006 / 11:21 am

    i havn’t actually read this post BUT i wanted to just note that I am currently reading the book <>The Turning Point<> for the second time, u read it?

    Like

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