Author: Eve Posen

Changes, Oddities, Random

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Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t really like change. I like things the way they are usually, and sometimes have a problem working through big changes in life. Over the past year, I have gotten much better with this, I have learned to embrace change, look forward to it, make the best of it. I mean, change is all around us, especially in Jerusalem. Just two weeks ago, it was hot, humid, and i was complainign about how warm I was, and then, within an instand the weather changed, it’s gloomy, rainy, windy and cold. CHange. I went from living alone to having a roommate, Change. I went from havign fun, enjoying myself, having free time, to being in school for 12 hrs. a day, in HEbrew. Change. I went from Michigan to Israel, Change. I went from English to Hebrew, Change. I went from a place i knew to an unknown place, Change. And, the more I’m realizing it, this is what life is all about. Life is about changes, it’s about going with the flow, the natural changes that happen and embracing change. Just as I can’t fight the change in the weather, so too, I cant’ fight the changes that happen in the grand scheme of things in my life. I am coping well with all the changes, growing, and smiling, so I guess that’s a good thing… although I do miss the comforts of home, of a steady, dependable life, but i guess that wouldnt’ be fun!
Oddities: Israel is full of things I find odd, random for amusing. For instance, you can buy beer almost anywhere, in a coffee shop, at a falafel stand, single bottles at the little macolet, absolutely everywhere. And people here drink it just about everywhere too. Also, i find it odd to see really orthodox men walking around in their full on garb with little white wires and headphones standing out like a sore thumb from them. The IPOD is a must have accessory here along with crocs of any color that don’t match your outfit. I find it strange that people have all of the sudden begun wearing winter scarves, hats and coats and it’s still ike 65 degress outside… i undesrtand it’s colder but still. And there are more, but shabbat is nearly upon us, so I must go and get ready… more to come later! LOTS OF LOVE TO ALL and SHABBAT SHALOM! Comment so I know you’re reading!! Be well, stay warm, go blue, and I hope the tigers can get it together!
UPDATE: I WAS ADDED/POSTED ABOUT IN AN ISRAELI BLOG… CHECK IT OUT!!

We’re not in Kansas Anymore, Toto!

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Shalom, Shmi Eve, v’ani rak yoda’at l’daber b’ivrit biglal she yesh li shteim esrei shaot shel shiurim b’yom b’ivrit. Hi, My name is Eve and I only know how to speak in Hebrew because I have 12 hours of classes a day in Hebrew. This past Sunday, I began my full time studies at Machon Schechter. What a week it has been. While I knew my classes would be in Hebrew, and I am fairly confident in my Hebrew abilities, I do not think I was prepared for the 12 hour day of classes that awaited me. I must thank my Hebrew teachers throughout my life, and my parents for insisting that I learn Hebrew, as I am not completly lost in class when the teacher speaks Hebrew. By the middle of the first day, however, i was completly overwhelmed and perhaps in shock at the brain power it takes to actually pay attention for a complete 2 hrs. or more in Hebrew. If i miss a word, I am lost, if i try to take notes, it’s hard to keep up, and the classes are HUGE compared to the UJ. At the UJ my biggest class is about 10 people, sometimes a few more. My classes here began at 15 people, some of whom are Israeli. Needless to say, this week is an adjustment period to say the least.
To give you an idea as to why I am so overwhelmed, I am in classes from 7:30am beginning with Minyan until 6:30 pm from Sunday-Tuesday (I have an hour break aside from lunch on Monday). Along with that, almost all of my classes are taught in Hebrew, some with prep time before, and some without. The benefit of the three day marathon is that on Wednesday i have only one class so I am done by noon and on Thursday, also only one class which I am auditing. The best part about the Israeli school day is that there is a half hour break at 10 for Aruchat Eser, the ten o’clock meal, in which everyone has a chance to eat a small snack and take care of their needs as opposed to being rushed between classes.
What classes am I taking you might ask:
Talmud: We are studying Brachot and comparing different manuscripts. This class will be my hardest as it is level 4, with 10 americans, 5 Israelis and an Israeli teacher. So far, so good, but I will need to work hard at it. The best part of the class is that the teacher keeps her pipe on the desk, and I know one of these days she will probably smoke in class… Oh, how wonderful!
Poskim: In this class we are going to learn about the different ways in which one decides law, and also hwo to look up the final decision on various legal matters. I was originally in a class that had a different subject, but the class had too many people in it for my own comfort and so I switched into a smaller class where the teacher has promised to teach me the skills i need to do this completely on my own!
Israeli Society (ENGLISH): In this class i will get a rough outline of Israeli Society, the history and culture of the state, and more. A straight-forward class!
Mikre (BIBLE): My bible class seems to be really interesting. The teacher speaks in Hebrew I can understand, and the subject matter interests me as well. We are studying shemot (Exodus) and various pieces of Moses’ life and the relationship of the exodus from Egypt to the rest of our mitzvoth and the Torah.
HEBREW: obviously an important class. The class is a nice size, the teacher seems sweet, and I am already learning a lot! Any fears I had about speaking in Hebrew are quickly vanishing.
Halacha L’Ma’aseh: This class, also in Hebrew focuses on actual laws and rulings that are done. How we should act, and live our lives. I also switched into a new section of this class after the first meeting so taht I can have a class with fewer people and receive one on one attention from the teacher. This is the first time I am learning this subject, and really would like to feel ownership at the end of the year.
Israel Seminar: (English) the purpose of this class is to discuss Israel, our current views, learn history, and the inner workings of the country and how it focuses on my life today and connections I can build. This class is nice as we are broken into three small groups with an advisor leading each group. Rabbi Shlomo Tucker, the assistant dean of Schechter’s program is my group leader, and I have found it to be most enjoyable!
Midrash: This class, also in Hebrew was a lot of fun today, and i followed the entire class and even participated. We are going to study Midrash in Beresheit Rabbah and different aspects of midrash and how it came to be, and how it is different from other forms of work with texts.
Talmud Bikkiyut: This class, also in Hebrew is a class in which we will do one amud of Talmud a week, and work on mastering texts with our own skills on a most basic level. The teacher for this class is fantastic and broke down the text in a manageable way, and an understandable way. I think I will like this class.
Volunteer Project: During the year, we are each required to do a volunteer project of about 3 hrs. per week within the Masorti Movement in Israel. I have chosen to do this by teaching in an open Beit Midrash program at Hebrew University on Wednesday nights. I get to choose the text that I will teach and it seems like it iwll be a wonderful opportunity to work with college students and improve my learning.
Women and Halacha: To add to my already long Sunday, i ahve decided to take a class on Women and their halachot at the Conservative Yeshiva on Sunday nights. While it is hard to sit for so long, it is one of my goals for the year, and I am looking forward to pushing myself.

And, that wraps it up… after i do some homework and rest my brain (read, if i dont fall asleep doing my work before 10pm), i will add my feelings and thought processes over the past few days. If not, today, then tomorrow or so!
Rest assured that I am fine, I am happy, I am learning, just overwhelmed and inredibly busy with my 10 or so classes!!

EMPTY, HIGH, HERE, ME

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I had meant to post this earlier, when I wrote it, but time has slipped away, so here is my reflection after Yom Kippur in Israel, after many emotions and experiences in my life! I sit here, floodded with emotions and yet, I am empty-spiritually full, refreshed, but emotionally empty. What can i do? WHere does this come from? I think about Yom Kippur and the spiritual high that came with it. The joy of beginning and finishing and entire liturgy of special prayer and emerging new, changed, refreshed. What an incredible feeling. What a great place and yet, after all of that- after all the love, all the emotion, i sit here two days later, drained, empty, confused. Which is better than where i started, but where does this leave me? In the end, what does this do for me? How can I feel so much and so little at the same time? And I sit here, in teh beautiful sun, the warmth of Jerusalem, and know this is the last time for a while that I will be able to do this, that soon classes will begin, that I will again be a student with a set routine, with a schedule and I will long for the days of summe,r for the early fall when I sat outside in the sun, and with Jerusalem in all her glory, alone with my thoughts, my heart and my love. And i wonder what will become of these friendships, both strong and new when we don’t see each other all day every day. I will yearn for the simplicity, for the peacefulness, for the feeling of home. And the test begins- will I be able to hold on to the changes created in me this summer? The changes i created, found, loved? WIll I be able to hold on to the happiness, carefree, lvoing Eve I am now, or will i revert back to my old ways? Oh, how I hope, how I pray that I continue to change, to grow, to Love. I like the new me, the happy me, the beautiful me who has learned to embrace change, embrace life, embrace love, embrace the beauty I now see I have. Maybe this si the center I have been yearnign for? Maybe all of this is the spiral towards the pull of the center? I think i am more centered that I think, more here, more at home than I know, than i want to know. And all those expectations of travel, of exploration, would be nice, but are not necessary to my happiness. My happiness is contingent on me, on what I decided to make of my life. I have the power to be happy, I can regret or I can live. Whatever choice I decide to make will be the right one for me, the choice is mine and I know happiness is also mine. I need to decide, I need to take control, I need to believe in me! And I am here- emotionally drained, exhausted, but spiritually high and full. I am here, ready to embark on the journey, open and ready for what comes my way, and confident that I will survive, I will live, I will be happy. In the end, as long as I am proud of myself, confident and content- everything will be right, and I will be o.k…. OH THE PLACES I’LL GO….

The Hills are Alive…

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With the sound of my Ipod, with the sound of change, with the sweet smell of fall, with the beauty of the land. I am in awe of a country to small with such a variety in the landscape, climate and culture. Yesterday, as part of orientation for Schechter, we went up north by bus for the day. Our bus pulled out of Schechter at 7:50am and by 10:30 we were up north. We spent the day tyourning different sites of the earliey zionsits, the second Aliyah and the 1920’s. The point of our first two tiyulim were to understand the complexities of the country, see the dream and the reality, ideal and truth. And we certainly have seen that and more. This did not stem only from this trip, but from living in Israel. Ideally, the Jewish country would be run with Jewish morals and values, human dignity and respect would be paramount. This is obviously not the case given the recent governmental issues, the probelms with the religious vs. secular Jews and so much more.
It was wonderful to finally exit Jerusalem and see more of the country. In order ot go north, we first drove south, and into the west bank and then continued our way up north. My day entailed gorgeous views out the widnow of the desert, the barren land, small settlements, camels, cows, and then as we moved north, greenery and mountains. The beautiful flowers of the north, the full kinneret in all her majesty and so much more. The land so rich with beauty, with lessons, with love. I sat on the bus, absorbed in the sounds of my ipod, and the wonders of creation. I saw how much I have grown since I last sat on a bus and traveled the country, how much I have changed, and how much I am still so deeply in love and enamoured with the country. This country has brought me so much, and i feel as though i have given so little back in return. I have grown as an individual in the last 6 weeks I have been here, I grew as a Jew here, I grew into myself i this land, found myself. So many firsts were had in this special place; my first kiss, my first relationship, my first pomegranate, my first time living completely on my own, my first time putting on tefillin in the old city. Each day brings with it a new first, and I can’t wait to experience them, feel them, grow with them.
I had meant ot write so much more about the experience, but I am feeling exhausted, rushed and overwhelmed with emotion these days. In a nut shell, School will probably be an incredible experience. The JTS people are overwhelming, but a wonderful group. It is really great to hav such vast personalities and new faces and opinions in my learning. I am excited for the year, ready for what it brings, open to the beatuy it will bring me, the change that comes… I stand here, Hineni in Eretz Yisrael, ready for it all!

Back to Life, Back to Reality… Tefillin at the Kotel

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So, I write this as I try to process my first day of school at Machon Schechter in Jerusalem. Today, I ventured with my classmates to our new school for the year, filled with anxiety, excitement, smiles and fears. We knew the day would be long, filled with information, we knew it would be intense, we knew there would be a lot of Hebrew… but what did I expect? Today was very symbolic in many ways. First, it was my first day of school, the beginning of a new journey. This was coupled with the reading of the torah (more on that later) and parshat Beresheit, the Torah is also being read from the beginning again. And so, my journey begins!!
The first day of school began with a special treat. Bill Davidson from Detroit, owner of the Pistons and great philanthropist was in town today in order to dedicate a Torah he had written. The special piece of this is that it was written for the purpose of being used at the Masorti Kotel, at Robinson’s arch, the southern wall of the temple! We were the group that got to use it for the first time, dedicate it, dance with it, celebrate it. Celebrate the Torah, celebrate our learning together, and all right there and the site of our History. And there, I got to be, at a holy site, at the place where my ancestors gathered, adni was able to freely express my faith.
One of my goals for this year was to put on my Tefillin and daven outloud at the Kotel, or at least in the old city. This time instead of doing to be a rebel, to show my disapproval for the way the Orthodox community treats the masorti community, I wanted to do it for myself. I put on my tefillin because iw anted to, because I could, because it was a spiritually intense moment for myself. I stood at the wall, prayed with such spirit, such kavanah, that all else seemed trivial. there we were, begining our journey together, the sounds of a bar mitzvah with drums, shofarot, dancing in the distance, and the modern sounds of the cars honking surrounded me, but all i was able to pay attention to was the beauty of the moment, the warmth of the sun, the warmth of the love of Torah that surrounded us!
After that, we all quickly boarded the bus to head back to Machon Schechter where we listened to a variety of speakers and presentations on the year, all in Hebrew. Surprisingly, i understood most of it, although, it is quite hard because I cannot zone out even for a second, otherwise, I was totally lost!! We took placement exams and I placed into the Level 4 Talmud and Level 3 codes. Today we have some more advising at the school, but the rest of the day is mine. I think I will walk around and do some other mind clearing tasks before I really get into school mode!
I came home from school completely overwhelmed by all the information, but enthused and excited about the possibilities of the year. My JTS classmates seem like an incredibly enthusiastic and fun group, and a bit overpowering of the mere 8 UJ students and 24 JTS students. All in all, I am incredibly excited abou tthe year, about the possibilities it holds, about the growing, learning, experiences. I cannot wait to see what it brings!

On another note, I want to just marvel at the fact that on Shabbat we said the prayer for rain and for wind, and on Sunday, it actually rained. The weather is actually completely different from last week, it’s cool out, chilly even, snuggle weather at night. It is amazing to live in a land where prayers are actually answered. Amazing to see the conection the rabbis had with the land, with the weather, with their environment, and watch it all happen miraculously before my eyes!
And on the note, I need to get ready for my day!! I am looking forward to all that it will bring me!!