Ma Tovu, Ma Gadlue, Ma Yafeh: How good, How great, how beautiful

Is your love, your world, your being. How beatuiful and good is this life. Is this city. How amazing are the gifts of the experience I have. How wonderful is it to be alive, to suck in the sweet smells of Jerualem, the shuk, life. How grand to bathe in the warmth of the sun, to take in the clear blue sky. What a gift is the world of God’s creation, and the gift of my life. How beautiful is it to breathe, to feel, to love, to enjoy the world around me.
My mind is clouded with thoughts, concerns, wonders and I am still struck with the beauty of the world around me. Each day, a new adventure, a new feeling, a new fear. Each day i question myself, question what I am doing, who I am, what I am feeling – and i believe this is the best thing for me. As scary as it is, i know it is all a apart of the growing experience, and i know I will b ebetter for it in the end.
SOmetimes I wish life would figure itself out, that everything would be in its place, that i would be happy, sound, comfortable. But i know that is not where I am right now. I am happy, I am content, but i’m talking about that eternal place of happiness. I know i need to push through the rough stuff, push through and find the next stop on my journey, on my roller coaster thru life. I know that when it is right, I will be there.
There are some days when I feel alone, I feel like I am doing this adventure on my own. Yes, i have the support of my family, of my friends, of my family of friends, but I can’t help feeling alone, lost in the world around me, trying to find my place, the place I belong, find love, find that true companion. And I am playing the watiting game. I am happy where I am, i am content, I am in love, with this land, with my family, with my friends, but there will always be that little part of me (or maybe big part of my heat) that is craving the companionship and relationship of true love. perhaps, I will find this in Jerusalem, perhaps this is the waititng game… only time will time.
And then, i drift back to the prayers, how good, how great, how beautiful is this world, this life, this love, and I feel at peace. There are days where the questions: what is love? What is the love I am looking for? Why is this city so romantic, beatufil full and yet so lonely and scary at the same time? When will i find personal peace in Jeurslaem? When will Jerusalem find peace? When will it all make sense?- they could my mind, they take over my being , and they push me to move on, to continue on the journey, to search for the answer, or at least the beginning of the journey to that place.
There are days when i miss the comforts of home, miss the stability of last year, days when i miss home, miss the simplicity of college, and then there are days when I know that it is because of this experience that I have grwon into who I am today, and I am so much better for it. How great is the God’s love of us, and my love of God. How Grand is the world of God’s creation. How beautiful is the life that we are living, and the gifts that it brings. And when it comes down to it, this is all I need!

One thought on “Ma Tovu, Ma Gadlue, Ma Yafeh: How good, How great, how beautiful

  1. Matt October 2, 2006 / 9:50 pm

    You really have a beautiful heart. Thanks for the supportive post, I really appreciated it. And leading went very very well, I was glad that I did it and I think I really made Yom Kippur a wonderful experience for a few people, which makes me happy. Hope to see you soon 🙂


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