The cast of Friends showed us a remarkable tales of friendship.  They were there for each other through breakups, weddings, unexpected pregnancies, crazy schemes, and failed careers.  Always with perfect comic timing, they helped one another quit bad habits and take on new adventures, knowing that no matter what happened, these six people would be there to support each other.

The premise of the show (and the catchy theme song) was that friends are always there for each other.  But in reality we all go through moments when we feel like no one will understand us and we are completely alone in the world.  In these times it’s easy to feel isolated, scared, or nervous.  However it manifests itself, the feeling of being helplessly alone is never good.  Our parshah this week is Vayetzei and details Jacob’s journey alone as he flees from his angry brother.  Jacob doesn’t know where this journey will take him or what will happen next.  Perhaps paralyzed by this feeling, Jacob rests for the night, and he has restless dreams about angels and God and then wakes up and proclaims this place holy.

But throughout it all, Jacob still feels alone; that is, until God finally chimes in directly.  In chapter 28, verse 15 Jacob finally learns that he is never going to be alone in the world, no matter how lost he feels.  God says “And, behold, I am with you, and will keep you in all places where you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you, until I have done that about which I have spoken to you.”  Jacob arises from his slumber with a new-found hope knowing that God is with him.  God is with us.  In moments of despair or complete isolation, God reminds us that He is there, with us, forever, wherever we go.

I first fell in love with this Torah verse in the fall of 2007, a time when I was deep in despair and feeling isolated.  My father had died that August, and my peer group of young adults did not yet really understand the grief associated with the death of a parent.  But God’s words brought me comfort: “I will not leave you, until I have done that which I have spoken to you.”  Not only was God with me, but in these words I knew that my father was with me.  Spiritually, he was with me because my journey was not complete.  After a while I was able to regain the trust that I would never be alone as long as I had my faith in God.

It’s not easy to feel connected to God in moments of isolation.  Jacob certainly did not lead an easy life, but from this moment on, his despair is tempered by the knowledge that no matter what, God is on his side.  In those moments where even having family or a group of friends who can work through any problem on a couch at a coffee shop doesn’t seem to be enough, know that you are not alone because God is with you.  In those moments when it feels like even God is distant, do what Jacob did.  Take a break, rest, and remember to see the holiness around you.

Additional lyrics were later added to the Friends theme song when it became a hit. One of the added lines is:

“No one could ever know me, no one could ever see me, since you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me.”

Do you think God somehow sympathizes with Jacob?  Since we’re created in God’s image, does God know what it’s like to be you?

What goes up must come down.  A lesson learned after my balloon floated away from me to the high ceiling of the synagogue.  I was reassured over and over again that eventually the balloon would shrivel as the helium escaped, and my balloon would come back to me, albeit slightly smaller.  It always made sense to me that before something could come down, it needed to go up, but this week’s parshah brings new understanding to this concept.

This week we read parshat Vayetzei, which in English means “and he went out.”  The parshah is about Jacob leaving his father’s home, on the run after he receives the blessing of the first born meant for his brother.  On his trek, Jacob lays down for sleep one evening and uses a rock as a pillow.  As he sleeps, he dreams of angels of God going up and down on a ladder.  Though it seems like semantics, the question that arises is how can angels go up and then down?  That order makes sense for a balloon, but shouldn’t angels come down from the heavens and return up?

The commentator Rashbam, Rashi’s grandson, suggests that this order isn’t a literal description; rather, we say “up and down” because it is proper for us to first mention the attributes of a person that lift them up in our eyes, then – and only then – to remember when they have fallen.  That is to say, we are to always focus on finding the positive in each individual.  It is our job as members of a community to lift one another up, to bring reminders of the positive and look for the best in one another.

I am often asked why our forefathers are the men we look to as the great leaders of our people. Aren’t the first words we read from Abraham (asking Sarah to pretend she is his sister) part of a lie?  Isn’t Isaac too quiet and passive?  And what does Jacob’s lie to Isaac say about his character?  It’s important to remember that the task of building a nation of people doesn’t come easy.  Yes, theTorah tells us that our nation has come from them, but it took many tough choices and stumbles along the way.

Jacob is on a journey and not really sure where he will end up.  During Jacob’s travels he will eventually meet up with his Uncle Laban, be tricked into working seven years for Rachel, but marrying Leah instead, only to work longer to marry Rachel, his love.  Jacob was at a point in his life where it would have been easy to only see the angels come down, where everything could have felt like a giant weight on his shoulders, but God, acting as the great cheerleader, reminds him that there is always a way up. We can learn the same lesson as Jacob: to look for the upside first and make that what we carry with us.

ללמוד  To Learn: ללמד  To Teach: Chapter 30 of Bereshit speaks about Rachel’s attempts to overcome infertility.  The matriarchs, Sarah, Rebekah and Rachel each have a struggle with childbirth and infertility in one way or another.  Their struggles are still felt today by many families in our community, and treatments can be very costly.  Consider making a donation to Priya: A New Fund for Jewish Reproduction of the Dallas Jewish Community Foundation.  The word “Priya” is Hebrew for “Being Fruitful.”  This fund provides education to the Jewish community about infertility as well as financial assistance to Jewish families experiencing infertility.

לשמור  To Keep:  לעשות  To Do: Parshat Vayetzei is full of interesting family dynamics, one of the most prominent is the importance of children to a family.  Children represent the continuation of a family line.  This week, let your children know that you treasure them.  On Friday evening for Shabbat, give them a blessing.