The Big(ger) Picture – Parshat Vayigash 5773

I have a few pet peeves, but lately the one that keeps resurfacing is when someone tells me, in the midst of what feels like a personal crisis, that I should “see the bigger picture.”  This is supposed to be comforting, reminding me that despite whatever is happening now, I shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that in the end it will work out.  But in that moment, seeing the big picture can be so difficult when it’s happening to you.  Someone looking at a situation with fresh eyes is sometimes easily able to put the situation in perspective, but objectivity can seem impossible when the situation is yours. 
Nevertheless, seeing the big picture is often necessary in order to move forward in a challenging situation.  In my final year of rabbinical school, I had a major Talmud exam.  I was not thrilled with the stress and aggravation that came with studying for this comprehensive exam, which, based on my score, would determine whether or not I would be ordained.  But it turns out, all of those people who told me to see the bigger picture of mastering Talmud and being ordained were actually on to something.  A small amount of pain in the moment can lead to great rewards down the road.  The challenge is figuring out how to see the bigger picture. 
Joseph, the hated brother, had plenty of reasons to be angry and vengeful with his brothers, but, as we read this week in parshat Vayigash, he is anything but upset.  In our parshah this week, Joseph reintroduces himself to his brothers.  He may have toyed with them when he first realized who they were out of a bit of revenge, but in this moment of meeting, he seems to be the one to add perspective.  The revelation goes like this:
“I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt.  Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.  It is now two years that there has been famine in the land, and there are still five years to come in which there shall be no yield from tilling.  God has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival on earth, and to save your lives in an extraordinary deliverance.  So, it was not you who sent me here, but God;…”
Three times Joseph reminds his brothers that it is God who sent him here to Egypt, not them.  In reading this text, it appears that the minute Joseph introduces himself, the brothers turn to a state of panic as the next words Joseph speaks are words of comfort to them.  Joseph saw the bigger picture of his brothers’ actions and was able to put it behind him in order to find the greater good.  Instead of accusing his brothers of having sold him, Joseph says they “sent” him, understanding the true significance of his life, and giving his brothers the benefit of the doubt.
As I read this parshah, I am awed by Joseph’s ability to forgive his brothers and see the big picture.  Joseph shows faith in God in understanding his ultimate purpose in life, and in this clarity he has gained, he is able to live by letting go of his anger against his brothers.  Joseph teaches us that seeing the big picture can be done from the inside, as long as we know we have a greater purpose to achieve. 
As we enter into the new secular year, may each of us be able to expand our view to see the bigger picture, to give the benefit of the doubt, and let ourselves aspire to and achieve greatness. 
THIS TOO IS TORAH: As 2012 comes to a close, what does the bigger picture of the year look like? Did you give people a second chance? 

Hunger Games – Parshat Miketz/Shabbat Hanukah 5773

When I first started working at Levine, I was warned of the Levine 10, the number of pounds that can easily be put on working in the school.  The phenomenon makes a lot of sense when you consider the temptations.  Our children bake nearly every day in the ECC, and the smells are amazing.  We have snacks or leftovers to graze on in the teachers’ lounge, and birthday parties always seem to end with a piece of cake on my desk.  I’m certainly not lacking for food.  The warning of the Levine 10 is especially applicable at this time of year when the delicious smell of frying latkes makes its way through the halls, and several different types of latkes end up on my desk every day.  Rest assured the rabbi will never go home hungry.
The excess of foods that we see at this time of year with the tempting jelly filled sufganiyot and the crispy latkes comes as we read parshat Miketz, a portion of the Torah all about the lack of food in Egypt.  The parshah begins with Joseph interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams and continues with Joseph getting married, having children, living out the vision of Pharaoh’s dreams, his brothers coming to Egypt to get food, and the test Joseph administers to his brothers to see if they have changed. 
Pharaoh dreams, or perhaps has a nightmare, about food.  First, seven healthy cows are eaten by seven emaciated cows; then seven thin ears of grain eat up seven healthy ears of grain.  Joseph is called to interpret these visions and ultimately shares that the dreams represent seven years of good harvest and the abundance to come, followed by seven years of famine.  But, Joseph doesn’t stop there.  Joseph continues to instruct Pharaoh on how to store the food and abundance now so that there will be food later.  Joseph shares great vision in preparing for the worst, and ultimately saves the society in which he lives.
Too many people in our own community aren’t fortunate to have their own food reserves stored for when times are tough.  Even the best planners can face unforeseen circumstances that lead to hunger and starvation.  As we’ve partnered with MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger this year, we have been discussing ways in which we can help alleviate some of the hunger locally. 
Because we are aware of where resources are in abundance and where they are in short supply, we have an obligation to be like Joseph.  We can choose to share what we know about hunger in our world and help ensure that the years of plenty that many of us live in today continue for us and those around us.  Perhaps parshat Miketz teaches us that another miracle of Hanukah might be the moment when we not only identify a problem in our world, but take steps towards creating a sustainable solution.  
THIS TOO IS TORAH: One of the learning resources MAZON uses as a teaching tool is a set of eight myths and realities about hunger. As you celebrate each night of Hanukah, enjoying the sights, smells, and tastes, take a minute each night to examine one of these myths. Is it something you knew? Is it something you can help do something about?
MYTH
REALITY
Hunger exists because there is not enough food
Abundance, not scarcity, best describes the world’s food supply. Enough wheat, rice, and other grains are produced globally to provide every human being with 3,500 calories a day – that’s 75% more calories per person than are recommended in the USDA’s Nutritional Guidelines. Hunger persists in this country not because of a lack of food, but an absence of political will to solve the problem.
It’s better for local charities to feed people, not the government.
Charitable organizations – including MAZON’s nationwide partners on the front lines –were not designed to feed their entire community. Instead, these food banks, food pantries and soup kitchens were created to solve what were thought to be temporary or emergency situations, not systemic problems. Most are open only a few days a week, and for a few hours of each day. They are largely volunteer run, often out of basements or closets at their local houses of worship, and they primarily distribute food that has been donated from within their communities. They simply could never have the capacity to feed the number of people who need help.
Government programs enable lazy people to live well on society’s dime.
Receiving benefits from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP, formerly food stamps) hardly enables anyone to live well. The average benefit equates to roughly $1.40 per person per meal. And in most cases, the money runs out before the month ends – typically after only three weeks – forcing families to rely on charity to eat. Government programs like SNAP are designed to ensure that people receive the sustenance they need so they can contribute back to society and get off these programs. How productive could we expect anyone to be if they haven’t eaten for days or weeks or longer?
Hunger is only a big city problem
When many people think about where people might be going hungry, they often envision a city where the disparity between those who have and those who don’t is blatantly evident. Certainly food insecurity exists in those cities, but every day, we at MAZON hear about the growing number of challenges that afflict suburban, rural, and remote areas of the country. And alleviating hunger in these areas can be much harder to do than in the cities, because those communities often have fewer opportunities to obtain needed resources and lack a sufficient transportation infrastructure to support food distribution.
You can’t be overweight and be food insecure.
Many people believe that hungry people always look thin and emaciated. However, a growing body of research shows a startling correlation between obesity and hunger. The simple fact is this: people living in poverty cannot afford enough food, and often, what little food they can afford is unhealthy and processed, with low nutritional value. They also tend to have far more limited access to healthy and affordable foods in their communities, and reduced opportunities for physical activity. It is the convergence of all these factors that has exacerbated the obesity epidemic among those who are, in fact, hungry.
People on SNAP just need to get a job
As the nation’s unemployment rate hovers at 9%, SNAP provides a vital lifeline so that people and their families can eat while they search for work. In fact, this important and effective program is designed to expand and contract in relation to unemployment – in other words, for caseloads to rise as unemployment rises and fall as the economy recovers. 40% of households receiving SNAP benefits have at least one working person.
SNAP is rife with waste, fraud and abuse
SNAP has one of the most rigorous quality control systems of any public benefit program. States must conduct regular “quality control” reviews of SNAP case files to ensure that benefits are accurately distributed. And ongoing improvements to regulate the program have kept fraud and abuse to a historic low of less than 2%. The truth is that the overwhelming majority of SNAP recipients follow the rules because they desperately need help ensuring their family has food to eat.
 “Hunger can be a positive motivator”
– Rep. Cynthia Davis (R-MO)
There is no doubt that hungry people would rather not be hungry and may try to do everything they can to avoid it in the future. But that same hunger also hinders their ability to take such action. Being hungry can be all-consuming and distracting, which in turn decreases productivity in working adults, and negatively impacts unemployed people’s ability to get jobs. And for children, chronic hunger has devastating effects, impacting their physical development, and making it nearly impossible to learn. In both the short and long term, having a substantial population of hungry people – be they adults or children – impedes the country’s economic prosperity for everyone.

If One Cries, You All Cry – Parshat Vayeshev 5773

When I was younger, my grandparents would take my cousins and me out for special days.  They’d work very hard to make certain that each of us was treated exactly the same way so none of us could accuse them of favoritism.  Occasionally, when we’d all get together, my cousins and I would go at each other.  I, of course, was never the cause of the fight, and I always made sure to let my Zayde know I was still his perfect little redhead.  Unfortunately, having raised three girls of his own, my Zayde was wise to my ways and always retorted with “If one of you cries, you all cry.”  That was usually enough to get us to knock it off. 
No one likes to think that someone else is receiving special treatment.  The simple explanation that because your older sister had to wait until she was eight to get her ears pierced, you’ll have to do the same will invariably elicit the response, “It’s not fair!”  We try to set standards of behavior and treatment to ensure that everyone gets a fair shot, whether or not it’s always interpreted that way.
In our parshah this week, Parshat Vayeshev, we see Jacob struggling with this very same challenge of parenting.  His brood of twelve sons and one daughter gives him many problems.  Jacob is no stranger to favoritism among parents; after all, we learn immediately upon his birth that Rebekah favors him and that Isaac favors Esau.  One would hope that Jacob learned from his parents’ mistake or learned from the pain he caused Leah when he made it clear that Rachel was his favored wife.  This is not the case.  Jacob picks favorites, and soon it becomes known to all his children that Joseph is the favorite.  Try as the other sons may, Joseph is the apple of his father’s eye, receives gifts from him, and is awarded preferential treatment. 
Joseph is definitely aware of his brothers’ resentment and his father’s favoritism towards him, and yet he continues to go on and on about his dreams of superiority over them.  Why does Joseph seem so unaware or unphased by the resentment his brothers express?  Aviva Zornberg, a modern commentator, reminds us that Joseph is an adolescent, unable to see clearly how his actions impact those around him.  The narcissism of Joseph’s youth and the jealousy of Joseph’s brothers led to a no win situation.  
Jacob choosing Joseph as a favorite child ultimately cost Jacob his son and his family for many years.  The text begs us to examine what favoritism and ego can do to a family and relationships.  Thinking only of ourselves or only of those we see as the “best” leads to painful consequences.  Zayde’s threat of “If one cries, you all cry” may have been a way to keep us in line, but it’s also a reminder of the value of a human life.  If one of us suffers, we all suffer.  If one person can bring respect and kindness to just one other person who needs it, imagine the possibilities.
THIS TOO IS TORAH:  One of the most memorable moments from the 1970s sitcom The Brady Bunch shows Jan Brady’s frustration when her older Marcia gets all the attention. Watch this short clip from the show. What do you think of the parents’ reaction? Do they show favoritism or are they fair?

Too Little, Too Late – Parshat Vayishlach 5773

The saying goes “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”  And it’s often at the moment when you feel like you might lose someone or something that the most effort is put in to save the situation.  In romance movies the guy only realizes how much he loves the girl when she’s walked away and is almost completely out of his life.  In a trial a defendant might push a plea agreement to the back of his mind until he realizes what the punishment might and fights to get the better deal.  Whatever the circumstances, we often don’t see the good in a situation until we’ve had something happen that gives us a new perspective.
As we read the narrative of the lives of our patriarchs, it becomes clear that learning from their past mistakes helps them to put into perspective what life is all about.  This week’s parshah, Vayishlach,again shows us interaction between Jacob and his brother Esau.  The last time these two were together, Esau didn’t seem too attached to his birthright blessing until it had been given to Jacob, and Jacob didn’t care much about his brother’s right to the blessing until his brother threatened to kill him.  Now, twenty years or so later, we find the brothers on a path to meet again.  Both are now married and fathers of large clans, and both have large flocks with them. 
Jacob and Esau’s meeting is filled with pleasantries and what feels like a forced benevolence between them.  They offer each other gift after gift.  “You take my flocks, brother,” one says.  “I couldn’t possibly do that,” the other responds, “God has given me too much, you take from me.”  While these pleasantries may seem somewhat insincere, they are signs the brothers have changed.  Jacob is the most convincing by alluding to the incident with the messenger of God that took place immediately prior to this meeting.  He says, “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; because to see your face, I have seen the face of God and you have received me favorably.  Please accept my blessing which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty.” 
In this statement to his brother, Jacob sees that he has an opportunity to prove himself as a changed individual.  He remarks that he has seen God’s face and knows that he is a changed person.  No longer can he go around acting as though he himself didn’t do anything wrong, now he must acknowledge his actions and convince Esau that he has changed.  One commentator reads this verse as Jacob proclaiming to Esau and the world that he has learned to see his brother not as an intimidating rival, but as a person fashioned in God’s image.  Furthermore, Jacob extends a blessing to his brother: Take my blessing now because I stole a blessing from you years ago out of jealousy.  Please now, take a blessing from me.  At this, Esau accepts Jacob’s offer, and they move forward.
Since the brothers are now family men, they both seem to have an understanding of the importance of forgiveness and friendship.  Jacob’s act could have been “too little too late” had Esau not understood that his brother was truly a changed man.  And Jacob might have approached his brother with force or terror had he not had a life experience that allowed him to see others as holy beings.  
What is remarkable about this narrative is that each brother was willing to give the other a second chance.  Too often we close ourselves down when someone has deceived us or hurt us.  It’s easy to say that efforts to reconcile are “too little too late,” and much more difficult to forgive and keep an open mind.  Reading this narrative teaches us that even in situations that we might think can never be fixed, we would be well served if we kept our minds and hearts open to the possibility of change and forgiveness.   As we enter into the darker, colder period of the year, may we be blessed with warm hearts and acceptance of those who have changed for the better. 
THIS TOO IS TORAH: Brothers Jacob and Esau have a history much like the characters Elphaba and Glinda from Wicked.  We learn an important Torah lesson from the two witches.  These two characters start out at bitter odds with one another, giving each other the evil eye, ignoring one another, not giving the benefit of the doubt that either one is genuine.  But as the story progresses, the viewer sees their relationship change.  At a touching moment when they realize what their relationship has meant to them, they sing, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”  A relationship like this is rare, as too often we find ourselves holding back the benefit of the doubt and standing in our own, biased vision of reality.

I’ll be There for You or "The One Where…" – Parshat Vayetze 5773

 

The cast of Friends showed us a remarkable tales of friendship.  They were there for each other through breakups, weddings, unexpected pregnancies, crazy schemes, and failed careers.  Always with perfect comic timing, they helped one another quit bad habits and take on new adventures, knowing that no matter what happened, these six people would be there to support each other.
The premise of the show (and the catchy theme song) was that friends are always there for each other.  But in reality we all go through moments when we feel like no one will understand us and we are completely alone in the world.  In these times it’s easy to feel isolated, scared, or nervous.  However it manifests itself, the feeling of being helplessly alone is never good.  Our parshah this week is Vayetzei and details Jacob’s journey alone as he flees from his angry brother.  Jacob doesn’t know where this journey will take him or what will happen next.  Perhaps paralyzed by this feeling, Jacob rests for the night, and he has restless dreams about angels and God and then wakes up and proclaims this place holy.
But throughout it all, Jacob still feels alone; that is, until God finally chimes in directly.  In chapter 28, verse 15 Jacob finally learns that he is never going to be alone in the world, no matter how lost he feels.  God says “And, behold, I am with you, and will keep you in all places where you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you, until I have done that about which I have spoken to you.”  Jacob arises from his slumber with a new-found hope knowing that God is with him.  God is with us.  In moments of despair or complete isolation, God reminds us that He is there, with us, forever, wherever we go.
I first fell in love with this Torah verse in the fall of 2007, a time when I was deep in despair and feeling isolated.  My father had died that August, and my peer group of young adults did not yet really understand the grief associated with the death of a parent.  But God’s words brought me comfort: “I will not leave you, until I have done that which I have spoken to you.”  Not only was God with me, but in these words I knew that my father was with me.  Spiritually, he was with me because my journey was not complete.  After a while I was able to regain the trust that I would never be alone as long as I had my faith in God.
It’s not easy to feel connected to God in moments of isolation.  Jacob certainly did not lead an easy life, but from this moment on, his despair is tempered by the knowledge that no matter what, God is on his side.  In those moments where even having family or a group of friends who can work through any problem on a couch at a coffee shop doesn’t seem to be enough, know that you are not alone because God is with you.  In those moments when it feels like even God is distant, do what Jacob did.  Take a break, rest, and remember to see the holiness around you.
THIS TOO IS TORAH
Additional lyrics were later added to the Friends theme song when it became a hit. One of the added lines is:
“No one could ever know me, no one could ever see me, since you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me.”
Do you think God somehow sympathizes with Jacob?  Since we’re created in God’s image, does God know what it’s like to be you?