Author: Eve Posen

Jewish Sex – Parshat Mishpatim 5784

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When I used to teach in the day school world I would frequently be called upon to offer a unit called “Jewish Sexual Education” to our 4th-8th graders as part of their human sexuality units. My role was to offer up a sex-positive, safety-positive lesson about the way we look at our bodies and how we treat our partners in intimate relationships. This spanned the spectrum from strictly emotional relationships (and emotional abuse) to the very nature of our physical beings and anatomy. It never failed; each year I’d walk into the classroom to have kids shade their eyes and hide their faces because it was too much for them to hear the rabbi use medical terminology for genitalia.

I started each year with the same speech about how “this too is Torah” and reminded them that the Torah is chock-full of examples of boundaries being violated and rules about what constitutes an appropriate physically intimate relationship. This is acknowledged in multiple ways throughout the Torah, but specifically in our current Torah portion.

This week we read Parshat Mishpatim, the middle section of text in Sefer Shemot, the Book of Exodus. The Israelites are on their way out of Egypt to Israel. They have begun to set up their own system of laws and rules, beginning last week with the Ten Commandments. This week, Parshat Mishpatim focuses on interpersonal laws in regard to business. The main idea of this section of text is that we have the obligation to treat each other in business and in relationships as complete, equal human beings.

In the list of responsibilities towards other humans, the text talks about indentured servants and other types of “ownership” relationships. It may sound strange to modern ears, but this includes marriage. The Torah is explicit that the rights of two people in a committed relationship are food, clothing, and conjugal love. Jewish law values the rights of both partners to sexual satisfaction within their partnership. Moreover, withholding pleasure from a partner is seen as breaking a commandment. 

We often think of biblical Judaism as being ancient and antiquated. We often have to dig deep into laws about sacrifice to figure out how those laws are relevant to us today. For this law, there’s no need to dig. The Torah values responsible and committed physical bonding and recognizes that withholding that physical need is a form of enslavement. It’s a pretty progressive take for these ancient words. 

To Learn From All – Parshat Yitro 5784

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A rabbi, a Lutheran pastor, and a Presbyterian pastor walk into a coffee shop. No, that’s not a joke, it actually happens on a regular basis. I gather monthly with two other female clergy, one Presbyterian, the other Lutheran. We talk about our journeys as religious leaders, as women, as people of faith. It may sound cliché, but I fully believe that we can learn from anyone. We’ve explored the differences between our Bibles and the ways in which our faith stories can be told. I’ve offered support when security issues have arisen at their buildings, and they’ve taught me about setting boundaries and recharging when necessary. The premise might sound like the start of a joke, but with this group of women, I’m learning so much about life and Judaism. 

I don’t want to whitewash over the differences between myself and my colleagues either. There are certainly places where I fully disagree with their reading of our sacred texts, and in those moments we agree to disagree. Thankfully, those moments are few and far between. When we sit together with our hearts and minds open, our world is a richer and more beautiful place. 

If the joke were in fact told in the Torah, that version would probably go something like this: “A Midianite priest and an Israelite prophet walk into the desert.” That’s what happens in our Torah portion this week, Parshat Yitro. The central piece of the portion is the giving of the Ten Commandments by God to Moshe and the people Israel. We now have a set of laws to live by, a guide to being a free people outside of slavery. But before the Torah shares these laws, it reminds us of the family relationship Moshe has with his father-in-law and how he sets up a legal system. And the end encapsulates the experience of the intensity of being at Sinai, but in an unusual way.

Moses is stressed, trying to do the work of leading the people and being the judge. People are waiting in lines all day long, and he isn’t making any progress. Yitro, Midianite priest and father-in-law to Moshe, comes to check in. Yitro offers advice, not about how to solve the problems being presented by the people, but about how his people have devised their legal system. For Moses, we see that religion and faith are inspired by God, but, that doesn’t mean that he can’t learn from others about science, civics, and more. 

There is so much to be learned from others who are outside of our small Jewish community. Parshat Yitro calls loudly to all of humanity to open our minds and learn from one another. It doesn’t mean that we have to share all aspects of belief, but it also doesn’t serve a purpose to close ourselves off from one another and miss the opportunity to grow. As Ben Zoma teaches in Pirkei Avot, “Who is wise? One who learns from everyone.”

A Time to Pray, a Time to Act – Parshat Beshalach 5784

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“Baruch dayan ha’emet.” Blessed is the true judge. These are the words that we’re told to speak upon hearing of a death. It’s a short, quiet prayer that simultaneously notes that life is fleeting and often not in our own hands, and at the same time, asks for blessings upon the life that has ended. From there, our tradition teaches us that there are steps to take in order to fully honor and respect the body and spirit of the one who has died.

As Jews, we simultaneously take the time to acknowledge our grief as we step into the ritual actions of burial. This is a call to both pray and to act. This one mitzvah (commandment) sums up so much of Judaism; we are people of prayer and we are people who must work to bring forth change. However, when you consider the breadth of our narrative and our subsequent legal texts, those two verbs aren’t necessarily in the same order every time.

Moses learns this lesson in our Torah portion this week. Parshat Beshalach is notable for showing the power of song. We find the children of Israel on their journey out of Egypt into the wilderness. The Egyptians go after them, but God intervenes and saves them. The Israelites continue through moments of bliss and wonder at the new, free world around them as well as moments marking the occasional temper tantrum at God because the journey through the desert isn’t perfect. God provides manna, and the people want more. God provides water, and the people complain that it doesn’t meet their standards.

On their way out of Egypt, the Israelite people are understandably scared. They see the Egyptians following them, there is a sea in front of them, and they freeze in fear. Moses begins to pray, but God stops him. Why? God explains to Moses that there is a time to act and a time to pray. This moment at the sea is a time of action, not prayer. And we know what Moses does: he lifts his arms, and the sea parts. It is only after he takes direct action that it is the appropriate time to pray. It wouldn’t have worked the other way around. 

How many times do we see people offering “thoughts and prayers” after tragic events? The Torah this week reminds us that perhaps it should be “actions and prayers.” Yes, we can have both a belief in something greater than ourselves and the imperative to take action to create a world that is a picture of justice and mercy. 

Your Own Free Will – Parshat Bo 5784

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Some sections of the Torah are more challenging to interpret than others. For many people, these tend to be the parts with a lot of death and destruction. In this week’s portion in particular, we have the final plagues, including the angel of death taking the firstborn. However, it’s not the violence I struggle with, but the way these moments bring up the question of free will. Specifically, does God intend for human beings to have it, and more importantly, to act on it? 

This week we read Parshat Bo, which details the Exodus from Egypt. The Israelites are a traveling people, and in Parshat Bo the Israelites are steps away from leaving Egypt. Pharaoh refuses several more times to allow the Israelites to leave, and each of the three refusals brings with it one of the three final plagues. The narrative continues with the procedures for leaving Egypt, including putting lamb’s blood on the doorpost, packing up, and then in future generations, recreating these events by celebrating what we now call Passover.

For me, the puzzling question in this text concerns the scope of the final plague: even the firstborn of the Egyptian slaves would be killed. By definition, a slave has no say one way or the other in the freedom of the Israelites. If these are the indentured servants to Pharoah, why would God also punish them? 

We read quite a bit about God manipulating situations. As we see over and over again, God interferes plenty, but rarely when it comes to free will. God offers opportunities for human beings to do the right thing when they can. Did the non-Hebrew slaves choose to become slaves? Not likely. However, when they saw the outcry of the Israelites, they could have chosen to join forces with the Israelites and others who were oppressed to fight for a better future.

This week our nation honored the contributions of civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In the letter he wrote from the Birmingham city jail in 1963, Dr. King said: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Free will plays a role all throughout the Torah, but it’s especially evident when individuals rise up against injustice. Today too there are bystanders and upstanders, and the upstanders are the ones who know we’re in this together.

A Toe in the Water – Parshat Vaera 5784

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Judaism offers us many opportunities to start fresh. In fact, there are four “new years” on the Jewish calendar: 1 Tishrei (Rosh Hashanah), 15 Shevat (Tu B’Shevat), 1 Nisan (the Exodus and birth of the Israelite nation), and 1 Elul (the tithing of cattle). Interestingly, the secular new year, Tu B’Shevat, and our reading about the Exodus in the Torah all happen around the same time, so needless to say fresh starts are on our minds in January.

Whether it’s a new food, a new exercise routine, or a new hobby, it’s helpful to have an excuse like the new year to explore those unchartered waters in our lives. And to a society that spent hundreds of years in bondage in Egypt, freedom was a completely new experience they didn’t know they were ready for. Parshat Vaera, this week’s portion, begins the Israelites’ journey away from Egypt. We find the Israelites in the midst of their transition from slavery to freedom. God reminds Moses about the covenant made with our forefathers and that redemption is in the near future. Moses tries to share this with the people Israel, but they aren’t ready to listen to him. And to be honest, Moses isn’t so sure of himself anyway.

So who is the most hesitant about this transition? Is it Moses, who’s afraid to take on the leadership of this nation in the desert without any real structure in place? Is it Pharaoh, who has to let go of an entire population of slave laborers? Is it the Israelites, who are afraid to leave because as bad as slavery was, at least they weren’t fearful of the unknown? Perhaps it is all three. 

It’s around the time of the fourth plague, when Pharoah is again faced with the decision of whether or not to let the Israelites go, that Moses suggests that he and Aaron – and perhaps all of Israel – leave temporarily. The purpose of this three-day excursion, at least according to Moses, is to be far enough away from the Egyptians to make a sacrifice to God. But could there be another reason? Could it be that Moses holds out hope that after three days he’ll feel more empowered to lead? Or is he trying to give the Israelites more time to realize the power of being free and to choose on their own volition not to return to slavery? 

Three days doesn’t sound like a long time in the grand scheme of 40 years in the desert, but maybe it was a “toe in the water” of freedom. Sometimes that’s all we need to realize the positive side of new experiences. Parshat Vaera reminds us that even though new adventures, foods, or friendships can be intimidating, it’s almost always impossible to know the outcome until you try. What will you try in 2024 for just one minute, for 10 minutes, for three days, or beyond?