Author: Eve Posen

Same Old Same Old – Parshat Behar Behukotai 5775

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Same Old

According to author Ruby K. Payne, there is a difference between what she labels “situational poverty” and “generational poverty.” In her book A Framework for Understanding Poverty, she explains that situational poverty is the result of a specific incident within the lifetime of the person in poverty, and generational poverty is a cycle that passes from generation to generation.

The problem with generational poverty is that cycles that perpetuate and feed on themselves are inherently harder to break. It’s one thing when an outside force is impacting a situation; if that force or cause can be removed, the problem has the potential to be fixed. It’s another thing when, like in the cases of poverty or lack of access to resources and education, it’s the problem that is both the cause and the result.

This week we read a double Torah portion, Behar-Behokotai. These two portions of Torah make up the final chapters of the book of Leviticus. Parshat Behar focuses on letting the land rest. We learn about the return of land during the 50th year and the cycle of workers and loans. In parshat Behukotai we read about the blessings that God will bestow upon the Israelites in exchange for following the laws of the Torah, and the rebuke and curses that will come if they don’t. Tied up in both of these narratives is the idea of security – financial and physical.

Chapter 26, verse 5 states, “Your threshing shall overtake the vintage, and your vintage shall overtake the sowing; you shall eat your fill of bread and dwell securely in your land.” This is the pact that God makes with the Israelites: adherence to a set of ethical laws for homeland security and sustenance. These two needs of sustenance and security go hand in hand. “When will people be able to live securely?” asks the Torah. When there is enough food for everyone so that no one is driven to crime or violence for lack of food. Security and food are intimately connected. Sustenance is a blessing that can determine how safe we feel in our own society.

The two Torah portions this week remind us that there is a clear advantage in the security we feel when our cycle is a positive one, and that a negative cycle does considerable damage beyond just those immediately affected. I would encourage us all to take just a minute to imagine interrupting a negative cycle somewhere – what would it take and what could be the outcome?

Ahead of Schedule – Parshat Emor 5775

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Ahead of Schedule

Get ready to despise me. Time management has always been my strong suit. In school I was always two weeks ahead in my reading, and I always turned in assignments on time. I live with routine and schedule, and I try to plan out my weeks based on what I have to do and the time it will take to do each task.

Believe me, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows just because I’m a planner. With this ability to plan also comes a bit of a struggle when it comes to spontaneity, altering the plan, or setting aside time to have fun. My planner side has also been known to clash with my parent side. Having a child has put some strain on my time management, and as much as it may frustrate me, I find that sometimes I’m going to be late no matter how well I plan. As a family we try to balance flexibility with our schedule, sometimes staying up late for special occasions and sometimes sticking strictly to our routine, which we have learned is extremely important for our sanity.

My time management and affinity for schedules has served me well as a Jew. We are a people that lives by a calendar, with set times for celebrating, sleeping, mourning, praying, even for acknowledging learning. This point is driven home in the parshah we read this week, parshat Emor. In this section of text, we are reminded about the laws for purification of the priests, the holidays we are to celebrate throughout the year, and the ways in which we are to treat each other and animals.   The majority of these rituals are meant to be done in public, with the entire community a part of them. The time and manner in which each ritual is performed is delineated by the Torah.

In chapter 23, verse 7 the text states, “On the first day you shall celebrate a sacred occasion: you shall not work at your occupations.” Specifically, this text is speaking about Passover; however, we receive a similar commandment for all of our Biblically-based holidays. “You shall do no work.” Aside from a rabbi whose occupation requires “work” on holy days (which is a totally different story) the Torah commands us to take a break. Each holiday, Shabbat included of course, requires that we stop. Often this means we are met with a dilemma. Do we end up taking a lot of days off of work for our religion, or do we try to compromise and do the best we can between our religious and secular worlds?

Jewish festivals ask us to challenge our own identity. Do you define yourself primarily by your work? If so, does that mean your career and daily responsibilities trump times of celebration? Or, do you define yourself by your total person, and if so, does that mean celebrations and sanctified time are coming at the expense of a fulfilling career?

I suggest that the time-outs observed in the Torah are meant to reduce stress, not compound it. They’re designed as reflective periods to be spent with family and community, and it’s up to the individual to find the appropriate life balance. This week we’re reminded that even the strictest of planned schedules needs occasional time out. Celebrating together, eating together, sharing in joy together – these are not just commandments, but a necessary part of sustaining who we are as Jews.

Daddy’s Girl – Parshat Acharei Mot Kedoshim 5775

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Daddy's Girl

I was most certainly a daddy’s girl. One of my favorite pictures is me at five years old with my parents. Of course it was meant to be a standard family portrait, but during one of our poses the photographer captured me staring up with my sweet little girl eyes directly at my daddy. If there was ever any question that I was a daddy’s girl, this photo says it all. And what am I doing now? Apparently I’m also raising a daddy’s girl. While Shiri certainly loves me, especially when she’s hungry, nothing compares to the smile that lights up her face when her daddy walks into the room. It is clear that she associates Daddy with rough-and-tumble silly time and mommy with eating, nose wiping, and diaper changing. To be clear, in our house we do engage in these activities equally, but Shiri knows who to go to when she wants to be goofy, and Daddy has me beat in that category.

It is certainly natural for children to identify with one parent or the other for different reasons. My father and I were alike in our love of Judaism and our passion for teaching, and my mom and my sister still have their own unique bond. Throughout history we also have assigned societal roles and responsibilities either to a mother or father, and these have evolved over the centuries. Many people grew up in a time when it was expected that fathers would be disciplinarians and mothers would be nurturers. Interestingly, this perhaps was never the view – or at least the only view – of Judaism.

This week we read a double parshah, Acharei Mot-Kedoshim. Parshat Acharei Mot deals with what happens after Aaron’s sons have offered up “strange fire” to God and with certain forbidden relationships between human beings. The structure of this section of text pushes us to look at our relationships with both God and others and see the boundaries and intimacies of each relationship. Parshat Kedoshim deals with what is known as the “Holiness Code” that helps us to understand how we can walk in God’s ways and create a community of relationship and understanding.

It is in this section where the Torah teaches, “You shall each revere his mother and his father, and keep my Shabbat, I the Lord am your God.” This mitzvah is similar to the commandment in the 10 Commandments, “You shall honor your father and your mother,” but with one small change. In the 10 Commandments, the mother is mentioned second in regard to honor, and in the Holiness Code, the mother comes first in regard to reverence.

Rashi, the great medieval commentator on text, suggests that our natural instinct is to revere (fear) one’s father and to honor (love) one’s mother. The Torah’s ordering of these would have us regard each of our parents equally with reverence and love and would have each parent represent both discipline and forgiveness in the child’s mind. According to Rashi, the scripture recognizes that there is an innate way in which we approach our parents, and thus we are encouraged to stretch beyond what is unmindful and automatic in order to give true meaning to respecting our parents.

Do you (or did you) feel a particular bond with one parent? A common sense of humor or love of a certain food? Please share.

Mind Over Matter – Parshat Tazria Metzora 5775

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Mind Over Matter

If you’ve been a parent of a toddler, you can sympathize with my frustration. When my daughter is hurt or upset, I wish I could really understand what she’s trying to communicate to me. Her language is progressing normally, but until she can formulate thoughts into full sentences, both parties are simply left exasperated. I can gather she’s in pain when she bumps her head and lets out a scream, and I can tell when she’s uncomfortable because she tries to take off shoes or her shirt. But most of the time, there’s a lot of guesswork involved. Equally frustrating is what gets lost in translation from me to her: that if she sleeps she’ll feel better, if she’d stop banging her head against the wall it wouldn’t hurt, or if she simply believed she could do something, she might try and succeed. A 19-month-old doesn’t always recognize the results of her actions, and certainly doesn’t have the self-discipline that we as adults have been practicing for decades.

On the other hand, we adults have the ability to not only feel our aches and pains, but also to verbalize most of what we’re feeling. We understand the cause and effect of our actions. By now I know that banging my head against the wall will led to a headache, and negative self-talk will probably not make me feel any better. This doesn’t mean I always act in accordance with my understanding of logic, but it does mean that in some small way I’m able to monitor and modify my experiences.

This week we read two portions, Tazria and Metzora. The text of these parshiyot tells us of the laws for the purification of both our homes and our bodies after disease or death has occurred. The laws remind us that our bodies and our places of residence need to be treated with respect. We also have the obligation to help one another maintain that same level of healthy living. What’s most interesting is the implication that a healthy life is in part a result of a healthy attitude and a consciousness of our actions.

In chapter 14, verse 17 we read about the obligation to use oil on the head, hand, and foot as well as sprinkled on the altar as a method of spiritually cleaning away an illness. The head, the hand, the foot, and the altar – each location specifically suggested to convey the idea that the recovery from illness is a combined result of our actions, our attitudes, and divine grace. That is to say that in order to heal from what ails us mentally, physically, and emotionally, we must act differently, we must think differently, and we must find a spiritual center for ourselves.

Perhaps as a parent, instead of waiting for my child’s understanding of the world to mature, I can adjust my own outlook. When I had a newborn, there was no way I could fully relay to her the cause and effect of her actions. It was only after enough sleepless nights I realized that if I changed my own attitude, it would ease my expectations and disappointment. Our mind, our body, and our soul work together, according to the Torah, to help us effect positive change in us and in our world. May that notion guide our thoughts and actions this week.

Living In A Godly World – Parshat Shemini 5775

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Godly World

Our world is material, as Madonna wisely observed, and as such it is hard to shy away from material goods. Our everyday lives are, for better or worse, often shaped and defined by our things. From the clothes we wear to the toys we buy, from the cars we drive to the foods we eat, we are all consumers. And the push for us to embrace our consumer culture is overwhelming. Commercials on TV urge us to purchase this or vote for that, and it’s hard to draw the line between fact and fiction when making a decision. Sometimes it seems like our daily lives are so incredibly wrapped up in consumerism and technology that we can get lost and forget what really matters most.

At first glance, it appears our Torah portion this week, parshat Shemini, is preaching the exact opposite of the material lifestyle. In its verses about sacrifices and the laws of kashrut, this section of Vayikra (Leviticus) is instructing us in the ways of a holy life, a godly life. But are a material life and a godly life mutually exclusive?

Let’s recap the parshah and find out. The book of Leviticus is focused mainly on the laws of sacrifice and the priests. The parshah begins with the words “On the eighth day” after the priests had been installed. The text picks up with the narrative of creating a holy leadership team of Aaron and his sons, who unfortunately make an offering without the appropriate directions or intentions and end up losing their lives. Following this tragic story are the laws for making time holy with sacrifices and laws for making our bodies holy by observing kashrut.

Towards the beginning of our text this week, we read about what it is to perform sacrifices and become closer to God. In chapter 9, verse 6 we read, “This is what the Lord has commanded that you do, that the presence of the Lord may appear to you.” But this line refers not only to the laws of sacrifices, but to our actions in general. Our actions, ritual and otherwise, are all meant to bring a God-like existence closer to us. All of our activities in the synagogue – prayer, classes, meetings, a family program, a meal, or even a stroll through the gift shop – should have the goal of feeling the divine presence. When in a Jewish context, the material things we do can contribute to the holy life we lead.

This is truly living in a godly world. It doesn’t mean abandoning our possessions, but it might require forgoing our obsessions. When we mingle our special holy selves with our everyday material selves, that’s when we bring God’s presence closer.

[photo credit: Madonna blowing me a kiss in front row 16th Aug 2006 via photopin (license)]